Dreaming Big

You know what has been driving me absolutely nuts recently??? It's the negativity I'm getting towards at least one of my dreams. One of my biggest dreams is to be a stay at home mom once I start a family. However, the negativity towards that dream is absolutely stunning. Either some people can't dream big enough, or I dream too big for some people. It isn't, however, too big for me. I know what I want and will do whatever it takes to get it.

I know you might be thinking, but Tamara, look at this economy blah blah blah blah. You know what??!! I REFUSE to let the economy dictate my dreams. That's why I do some of the things I do as I work towards my dreams. Get OVER it. If you can't dream that big, fine. I can, though!

I'm starting to get to the point, even though I don't want to, of shutting these people's negativity out of my life. I only get upset at their negativity because it is so SAD. I'm sorry, but I can't live like that. I'm not one to not at least try and achieve my dreams. However, I do believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can make my dreams come true. I'd just like to do it with the encouragement of my friends and family rather than the negativity.

So what if it takes me longer than you think it should?! I won't be giving up, so you can get OVER that. I can guarantee you that I'll be closer to my dreams than you ever will be in your negativity. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I CHOOSE to live differently.

So, if you want to post something negative or tell me something negative about my dream or dreams, how about you "can it." My dreams are not unachievable, and if you think they are, GET A BIGGER DREAM or goal in your life. Really though.

My Daily Vitamin Regimen (Including the Weight Loss Stuff!)

So I take a good regimen of daily vitamins. Don't get freaked out with how much I do take (it's all important and purposeful), but I'm sharing it with you as so many people ask me about my weight loss and what I do to keep healthy. I'm not putting this up here to debate whether or not you should take vitamins though. I'm pretty clear that I think you should by posting my list. So here it is!

For weight loss (and I've lost A LOT... ask me if you want to know how much, but let's just say I lost a 5 year old.):
Daily-
Slimmetry
Not meant for quick weight loss, but hey, slow and steady is the way to go if you want to keep it off. I started taking this a year and a half ago just to kick off my weight loss. I lost a good amount before I even started adding in smaller portions and exercise (a third of what I've lost on ONLY this).

With High Carb Meals & When I Remember to-
Carb Blocker
It also comes in a handy dandy blister pack if you don't want to carry a bottle.
Does it work? Definitely!!! It's just an additional thing I try and take when I know I'm eating out or going for those Carbs I love oh so much.


Regular Daily Regimen:

Double X
Now this is absolutely the best product you can get. They recommend two doses a day, but typically, I do one dose. So one of these packages will last me 2 months. For those with weaker stomachs (I take the above with milk and/or a meal), I recommend things like the following:
http://tmoney.qhealthbeauty.com/products/product.aspx?itemno=104174 (Regular Daily)

Hair, Skin, & Nails
Ever complimented me on my skin? In addition to an AMAZING skin care system I use, I take this. My hair is stronger, my nails stronger, and my skin clearer.

My Omega 3's 
Ok, I'm not old, YET. But when I do get old I want to have a good brain, so I'm starting now. I only take one of these a day, but will most likely up it to 2/day once I get into my 30s. :) Plus, I don't like fish, so I don't eat it on a normal basis. Thus, this is the best way to get those all important Omega 3's. :)

ClearGuard
Just like the name. It clears things up and guards against things. The main thing being colds. Yea, how often do you really see me sick? Not often. It has to be MAJOR to break through my immune system. ;)

Iron
I have a problem with my iron levels. It's a genetics thing as my Mom has issues with it too. This is just added on to help with that. My daily has a lot in it, but I still need more. Before I took this supplement, I got turned away MOST of the time from giving blood. Now, I ONLY get turned away when I do too much in my workout the day before (due to my muscles storing added iron).

Concentrated Fruits/Veggies
Ok really... how many of us truly get all of our servings in of fruits and vegetables? I don't unfortunately, but I do alright. I just add one of these in daily to supplement my already ok diet. :)


SO, if you are looking to START a vitamin regimen, I would recommend the following:
Men's Daily Pack
Women's Daily Pack
At least with these two, you get to start taking care of yourself in a convenient packet that includes everything you need and easy to take on the go without dealing with bottles!


AND if you want to try the supplements that have aided me in my weight loss:
Slimmetry
Carb Blocker


One last thing I'll mention is something I supplement my workouts with.
I had no clue how much I was pushing myself with my stamina and endurance until I started eating half a pack of these gummies:
Endurance Cubes: Berry- my fav
Endurance Cubes: Fruit Burst
Especially, if you are a major worker-outer (lol on making up words) or if you want to just help give yourself a boost to feel good while working out, you HAVE to try these. One package is two workouts. I can't believe how easy it is for me to continue working out for 1-2 hours after having these. In fact, yesterday, I forgot to eat my serving of these cubes and my workout was terrible! I was tired after just pushing myself for 30 mins on the treadmill running. You WILL notice a huge difference when you add these to your workouts. It helps give you a quick energy boost, fuel prolonged endurance, and help your body replace key electrolytes lost during prolonged exercise (2 hours worth minimum). I ate a whole package of these before the Krispy Kreme challenge, and if you hadn't heard, had amazing race results! :)


Ok, so why did I post this? As I mentioned, several people have asked me what I do to lose weight and stay healthy. In addition to my diet (which isn't really all that good to be truthful) and exercise, these supplements have helped me tremendously. It is important for me to take care of myself now so that I don't have a drug store on my nightstand when I get older. I'm averting the health issues of the future by taking care of myself now. It is never too early to start!

Ask me any questions you might have. I can get you some samples too if you want some. I have more than just this in my repertoire of supplements. These are just what I take and I can help you figure out what you need based on what your health needs are.

 

The best ever! All natural and the #1 All Organic Vitamin Brand in the World!

On my mind on I-85...

Other than dodging pot holes today on my 3.5 hour drive from Richmond, VA, I actually authored a blog. :)
So, without further ado...

Wandering Ponderer

The Road Ahead and Behind
Have you ever just sat down and pondered over the paths and roads you taken in your life? Then, you realized that every road you have taken has lead you exactly to where you are now... Seems silly to write it that way, but really in every decision we've made in our life, the consequences (good and bad) have brought us to exactly this point in our life. For me, I know I wouldn't change a thing as I know that every choice I've made in my life and every event, person, and thing has happened for a reason. Sure, things could be different if I had taken different turns along my journey. Would I really go back and change that? No.

Something good, even though not always obvious at first, has seemingly come from every choice I've made. I just wouldn't be who I am today without the people who have journeyed with me and the road I've decided to take. It's when you step out on faith that can be the most scary moment but also can lead you down the most rewarding path.

Frodo puts my thoughts it in very choice words from Lord of the Rings: "Remember what Bilbo used to say: 'It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,' he used to say. 'You step onto the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.'"

It's hard sometimes, though, because you can feel so broken inside when the people around you don't understand the choices you make along your journey. However, when you know for sure, prayerfully and meditatively, that you are walking your journey the way it was meant to be traveled, a sense of peace waves over you.

Happy & Holy!
I believe in my heart that Holy AND Happy living can be combined. Why would God design it any other way? We get one chance to live for Him on this earth and sometimes doing what's best for your path may not appear to be one or the other or both even. Ultimately, though, I'm a firm believer that it is important to have both in your life.

I'm not perfect. I admit that fully, nor do I live under the premise AT ALL that I am even close to perfect nor do I claim to be "experienced in life." Far from it, in fact. I just do my best to live the best way I know how and love unconditionally. Love comes in many different forms as well. Sometimes you just have to make the tough decisions that will ultimately be the right or best decision later, even if they don't seem like it now.

Rather than live "resigned," I choose to live "designed."
I also feel like when you resign yourself to a way of life that isn't ultimately designed for you and your path, that it can be hard to live a fulfilled and Holy life. Many times that leads to resentment of the situation and people involved. Personally, I feel that interferes with my unconditional love philosophy for my life.

Cliché
I would rather hurt sometimes than feel nothing at all. Yeah, that's totally cliché, but it is a reminder of when I'm curving off from what is really designed for my journey. This goes for life, love, and business.

Against the flow?
I always remind myself that to be a part of one direction decisively will not be understood by those going in the opposite direction. It is, however, my hope that, in time, my journey will be looked upon and, in the end, viewed and seen by my Lord and Savior only as the best way for me to live Holy and Happy for Him. I'm not living my life for other people and I have to constantly remind myself of that.

Conclusion?
You can agree or disagree, but this is where I'm at right now. Sometimes the harder path right now will turn out to be easier long term and vice versa. It may not seem fair that it is, but yea, that's life.


Enjoy the calm moments of life and meditate over your own journey...

Conan O'Brien was jipped.

I have to say that I am with Conan O'Brien on what NBC has done. It was a low blow by them and I completely disagree. It has put Jay in an unfortunate spot and has pretty much shattered Jay's reputation. I no longer will support watching Jay Leno from now on because of it.

I adore Conan O'Brien and have always been around to watch his shows. It was a favorite thing for me to stay up to do in college. It's sad that NBC ripped the rug right out from underneath Conan. I think they deserve every tongue lashing they are getting because of it. It's their fault for thinking it was a smart idea to put Jay at 10pm and then after all of this fiasco put Jay back into "The Tonight Show." I mean, seriously? Who will really want to watch after all is said and done?

Kudos for Conan for doing the right thing in standing his ground against NBC. I have a higher respect for him for doing that. I can't wait to see what Conan does next. I'm loyal to him!

Tipping...

I have always had this strong feeling that tipping is so important. Of course, it is different in different countries, but most of the restaurants in the US pay their waiters/tresses crappy money, so they depend on the tips to make up for it. This includes delivery people as well.

I was always raised to tip. My parents do it and now even more so that I see people, like my business team, blessing people who work hard. And yes they do work hard. I have a hard time when people blame their servers for the bad food. Yes, there does come a point where the service is just as important, and if someone gives me really crappy service, I'll tip less but still usually my 15-20% minimum.

The point is that you never know what's going on for that person if they do give you bad service. Also, as I mentioned before, they depend on the tips. So, if you don't want to tip, don't go out to eat or get delivery.

My Workout Routine

Many people have asked what I do to work out. How do I stay motivated? What keeps me going???

I’ll be honest, just holding up the jeans I now fit in keeps me super motivated! I literally was doing laundry tonight and held up the jeans I had just washed and said, “Wow! I fit into these??!!” It is refreshing. I feel good, I’m looking better, I’m toning up. I just love the feeling. This is now my true motivation. In fact, I hate it when I don’t get the chance to work out! So here it is, this is what I do at the gym!

1. I do about 15 mins on the Elliptical Machine, Level 7 which is equal to about 100 Calories of workout according to the machine. I do 5 mins of backwards and 10 mins of forwards. To be honest, I have to do this machine first, or I am just too tired to do all 15 mins if I do it in the middle.

2. I do 15-17 mins on the treadmill, Speed: 4.0; Incline: 13. I usually keep the same speed and incline until the machine says I’ve burned 200 Calories and then cool down for about 2-2:30 at 3.1 or 3.0, no incline. In the end, I burn about 210 Calories on this machine.

3. I do leg extensions and curls on a leg machine.

Leg Extensions: I do 50 pounds and 12-15 reps (12 is hard). Then I lower it to 40 pounds and do 10-12. Then I lower to 30 pounds and do 10-12.

Leg Curls: I do 50 pounds and 10 reps. Then 40 pounds and 12-15 reps. Then 30 pounds and 10-15 reps. The reps depend on how tired and sore I am.

4. I do Chest/Shoulder presses on a machine. 3 types: Flat, slightly Angled, and sitting up straight.

This picture is slightly inclined. I’m sure you can figure out that flat is laying down flat on my back and sitting position is where the incline is closer to 90 degrees.
Flat: I can do about 5 reps on 50 pounds. Then I drop it to 40 pounds and can do 8-10. Then I drop it to 30 pounds and do about 8-10.
Next, I do slightly angled. I start at 40 pounds and do about 8-10 reps. Then I drop to 30 pounds and do 10 reps. Lastly, I do 30 pounds and do about 8-10 reps.
Sitting up (shoulder press): I start at 30 pounds and do 8-10 reps. Then I do 20 pounds and do 10-15 reps.

5. I do 2 sets of 5 pull ups where I have walked up a big workout machine so my feet are on the machine and then pull up from there. I have not gotten to the point where I can pull my body up hanging yet.

6. I do 50 crunches on a ball. This is much better for my back and I feel it quite well. My position is like this:

7. Ball Squats: The picture is a variation of what I do. I’ll do them on the wall or I’ll start where I start the crunches from and lower down to the floor from there. Both give me that nice burning sensation in my thigh muscles.


8. Mat Exercises
a. Leg/Thigh Lifts:

I do 30 lifts on the top leg then bring my knee to a bend and lift the leg that is on the mat to work the inner thigh and do 30 reps with that. I turn on the other side and do the same on the other side.
b. V-Shaped/Jack-Knife Crunches- I do 30 of these. It is tough after having already done all the above!

c. Kick-out, Kick-in ab exercise. You can do it where you alternate the legs or do both legs at the same time. You bring one leg (or both) in to your stomach and kick the other out and do that for several reps. I usually do 20 reps (both legs get 20). You should feel it really well in your abs.

Image shows both legs being pulled in and out positioning.

9. Weight Lunges: I do about 20 of these (10 on each leg) with 15 lb weights in my hands.


10. Twists with weight on the ball. I sit on the ball with a 15 pound weight in my hands and twist at my waist a full twist (so both sides are twisted) and do about 20 of those (both sides get 20 basically). Similar to the below picture, but instead I have a weight barbell instead of a ball and I sit on the ball.


11. Tricep lifts with both hands over head sitting on the ball. I do 25 of these with a 15 pound weight. This means it is time for me to increase the weight.


12. I do the same lifts above except I pull the weight in front of me sitting on the ball with the same weight and then pull up (both hands around top dumbell, palms up and then pull weight towards me). It is essentially a tricep lift. I do 15 lbs, and 25 reps (time to up the weight!).

13. Bench work:
a. More triceps. I put one knee on the bench, lean forward and pull my arm up so that it at the same angle as my back and work the triceps. I do both arms with a 15lb, 10lb, and 5lb weight, starting with the 15lb weight. 20 reps each. I do the 15lb on both sides (switching knees when I do each side- right knee up with right arm, vice versa).
b. Arm twists. No weight (at the moment). I extend my arms out straight when I sit straight up on the bench. This has been dubbed the exercise to get rid of “Bingo Arms” or those flabby under arms.
i. Palms facing floor, I twist my arms at the shoulder in a clockwise position (for the left arm) for 20 spins.
ii. Palms facing forward, perpendicular to floor, I twist my arms at the shoulder again in a clockwise position for 20 spins.
iii. Palms facing ceiling, I twist again in the same motion for 20 spins.
iv. Repeat all the above in sequence except in the opposite spin direction (left arm would be going counterclockwise). I do all this usually without stopping between palm positions. This exercise burns, but I have started to see a difference!

14. Bike exercise: This is the last place I go and I do some arm weights exercises while I bike.
Some days I’ll do intervals on the bike. These are the days where I work out on the bike at least 10-15 mins. I’ll do 2 mins at level 8, then 2 mins at level 6, and then repeat for however long I am going to work out on the bike. Most days, I do at least 5 mins on the bike or 50 calories equivalent. The days where I want to do more mins are when I do the intervals. The days where I am doing 5 mins, I’ll usually do one resistance level either 7 or 8. Why so short? Usually because I have already worked out for close to 1.5 hours at this point.
a. Over head Arm curls: I usually do 25-30 reps with 5 lb weights (need to up the weight).

This image shows my starting postion and then I pull those weights together over my head to where they touch.
b. Front Bicep Curls: 30 reps with 5 lb weights (need to up the weight).


The two above exercises, of course are being done while cycling. The cycle I use is one where I’m sitting back:



So that is my routine! I drink at least a liter of water, if not more, while working out. I average about 1.5 hours a day when I work out and when I don’t have 1.5 hours to work out, I usually cut the amount of time on the aerobics equipment and at least do the full weights work out. When I can do a full workout, my minimum goal on the aerobics machines is for them to tell me I've burned a total (between all 3) of 350 Calories. I work out 4-5 days a week. I just feel so good after having done a good work out. You should try it!

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions!

Dived off a Weight Plateau... (My Secrets)

So, many of you don't know this, but I have lost A LOT of weight since August of 2008. Many people ask what my secrets are and I'll share them in just a second.

Here are my stats:
From my heaviest, I've lost 52 pounds.
I've gone down 6-8 sizes (depending on the clothes) which if I go down one more size will be half my original clothing size!

How did I do it?
Well I cheated for the first 20 pounds. I was sick last year for nearly 3 months and lost it then. Once I lost that first 20 pounds, I vowed to lose more and that's what I've been doing ever since!

So what of the other 32 pounds?
A couple of things.

1. I do take one supplement to help. It's an all natural supplement that just helps to keep my metabolism up, and is not meant for quick weight loss but to help get it off gradually and keep it off! I've been taking it since August of last year when it first came out. I take 2 pills once a day with my other vitamins. I do have a healthy regimen of organic vitamins I take daily!
Health and Beauty - Nutrilite® Slimmetry Dietary Supplement
Health and Beauty - Nutrilite® Slimmetry Dietary Supplement- Blister Pack

So that has definitely helped!

Occasionally, I take a Carb Blocker when I'm going to have a big Carb meal:
Health and Beauty - Nutrilite® Carb Blocker 2
Health and Beauty - Nutrilite® Carb Blocker 2 - Blister Pack

2. I cut portions sizes big time!!!
You don't need to eat so much! I had to literally teach myself it was ok to leave food on the plate or take a doggie bag home from restaurants.


Most of my meals are like this where I have more plate than food. I eat just about anything I want, except for a lot of sweets. I have cut a lot of sugar out of my diet, and hardly ever drink soda. I stick to juices, milk, and a lot of water. I eat better including fresh fruits and veggies in most meals. I make my lunch when I have to go out during lunch time (usually a sandwich with meat, cheese, and mustard, and then some baked crisps and a yogurt or fresh fruit). If I'm up early enough, I try to eat breakfast. This kick starts my metabolism as well.

I used to eat too much, but I was raised under a mentality that we have to watch money, so if we ate out, I felt like I HAD to finish my food. I'm much better now. It was definitely a mental wall I had to break down.

I eat slower and drink when I feel like snacking. Sometimes thirst can be mistaken for hunger. I do have a glass of wine occasionally.

3. I Exercise. Yes, I used the dreaded "E" word. Right now, I'm working out about 3-4 times a week in the gym and usually for about 1-1.5 hours. I have a friend who is a personal trainer and he recommended more weight training to accelerate my weight loss.

I have a Wii Fit. When I don't have time for the gym or access to a gym, I use it. And I actually take a body test on it nearly everyday or every other day. I love it and those of you who can get a Wii, should get one!

4. I give blood/platelets. How does this help? Well, it keeps me healthy! When I give it forces my body to create new cells. New cells are healthy cells!

5. I sleep 7-8 hours a night as often as I can. I go to bed earlier than I used to and set my clock so that it's not usually more than 8 hours. A healthy amount of sleep is super important for helping improve your weight loss!


So, what of this plateau? I seem to hit plateaus at about every 10-15 pounds lost. Sometimes I linger at a weight for a few months. The biggest thing I have learned from those plateaus is to not give up, to keep at it! I broke off another plateau last week and my weight has been steadily dropping again and I feel like a million bucks every time I see my weight lower and lower.

I'm within 10 pounds of my high school weight now (in fact more like 8!) and I haven't been this "light" since I had Giardia after Guatemala in 2003 (actually I was 1 lb heavier after that than I am now)! In fact, when I got back from college (after I lost a lot of weight the last year or so), I was 10 pounds heavier than I am now!

Talk about feeling good! I haven't felt so good physically in ages. My knees don't really hurt anymore and I have a much better stamina.

Anyways, I just wanted to give some of ya'll hope out there. I know that I plan to reach my New Year's goal of another 9.2 pounds by mid January, but I may reach it sooner!

My Friend Debbie's "Blown" Glass

I've visited my friend Debbie and her flock a couple times, and she has a hobby where she "melts" glass.

I got this from her (the "charm").

 

She recommended leather or ribbon to hang it from, and I had this white leather necklace to put the charm on.

 

I love it and think it is gorgeous!! It's great to be able to support my friends' businesses/hobbies!
 And yes, she made that!!! I watched  her make what she calls a Frog Focal. It was amazing!!
(her pic not mine:)

Check out her site here: Pierces Designs

A Bit Taken Back

So, as many of you know, I have an online E-Bird Store. Things are going fabulously! I'm doing this full-time now which is just the opportunity that I've been looking for.

I tell you what though, sometimes, it makes me wonder what goes through people's minds. I'm a pretty supportive person, and when I have things that I feel like someone should know, I do it in private. I would never ever bring it to light in public.

However, without mentioning names, I'm a bit taken back by a new store that distributes through my same warehouse.

I'm pretty supportive of many stores that distribute through my warehouse. In fact, for many of them, even though they technically would be considered my competitors, I still write things to encourage them or are even fans of them on Facebook.

This one person who has this new store though won't talk to me and keeps removing me as a fan on their Facebook Fan Page. What's wrong with supporting them? Am I that abusive or what not? I don't know, but it's beginning to feel a bit personal, especially when they won't even talk to me or tell me why they are doing that.

Dr. B has always been supportive of my store even though it is technically competing with his online store as well. In fact, I used his store as a template for my own.

Anyways, I feel like I just needed to get that off my chest as it's been bothering me. I figured something might be up when I couldn't even click "Like" on that Fan Page of one of the photos posted.

Heaven forbid I EVER screen my fans. That just looks bad to me. I've spent many years building relationships with my fans on Facebook and YouTube. I wouldn't want to ruin it by being selective of who could be fans of my page. You just won't see me doing that.

By the way, if you ever have a problem with me, please don't hesitate to contact me directly privately. I would like to work things out or talk it through with you!!

Ok, that's my rant for the day. lol.

Kiwi!

There is just something about this video that I just love... and yet it is also heartbreaking too. I don't know what it is. Perhaps the mere aspect of the dreams in our lives and those wishes we work so dearly to attain and the price we pay. In the end, we ponder the worth of the outcome.

Finding true, deep happiness in what we seek when we finally seek it is what makes the effort truly worth it. Even when it seems it is something that is unachievable or impossible.

As a friend of mine said after watching this video, "This video just shows so clearly something that is extremely hard to explain."

Remembering 9/11

It was cool that morning in Boone, NC. I was walking to my 9am Chemistry class when I walked by the TV in the downstairs lounge area between Gardner and Coltrane. It’s a big TV and hard to miss. It was on a news channel and I remember seeing a tall building on it burning, but I didn’t really have time to stop and look.

The classroom atmosphere was fairly normal when I made it to Chemistry. Apparently, not a lot of people really knew what had happened at that point. We made it through chemistry fairly normally that day.

It wasn’t until I made my way to Spanish at 10am that I realized that there was not only one building burning in NY, but two and that one had collapsed. Spanish class was basically canceled as we all piled into a dim room on the same floor where CNN was projecting on the screen in the front. I was horrified. What had happened? What was going on?

My eyes were flooded with tears as I watched the images projected on the screen. I watched as couples holding hands jumped out of the building on screen. They were trapped and figured death was upon them anyways. I covered my mouth in shock and held my breath as I watched the second building collapse.

After the 10am hour, classes were an afterthought for the rest of the day. I can’t remember if I skipped them or if I even went, or if they were canceled. All I remember is that I sat in my dorm room watching the tele as the events unfolded on that fateful day.

What were you doing, where were you on that fateful day?

No Self Pity

I met someone the other day who was legally blind. I didn’t know it until well after an hour of sitting across from him at a church meal. I guess I could’ve picked up a few clues, but really I had no idea.

This person amazed me. The reason I didn’t know was because as he introduced himself to me and then when we would have a discussion, he would look right at me. It wasn’t until the minister was thanking someone for a donation of some blinds for the window that he jokingly laughed about it and told me.

I was so fascinated. He didn’t make his blindness be something that “paralyzed” him. In fact, as I talked to him, he said that sure he could make it be something he would want pity for, but why do that? He has a great family, a loving wife, and just lives so happily despite being blind. He’s been blind since he was 25. He’s not that old or anything, but that’s a long time to be blind for.

He admitted to being able to see my “shape” or as I would think a kindof aura. Meeting him made me feel more appreciative of the things that I do have, such as the ability to see, talk, walk, and hear. Honestly, meeting him was a blessing and a self realization of how one can choose not to let the “little” things in life get you down. The mere fact that he didn’t pity himself or want others to pity him made me truly respect him and the things in life that I take for granted.

No Guarantees.

I called my Dad tonight. At midnight. He was up. He picked up and I started to cry when I said, “Dad, I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you.”

Once again, I am reminded of life’s fragility. We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. I don’t know why some of us will be called home before most would say is a full life. But seriously, what is the measure of a full life anyways? It certainly isn’t how long you live. It’s how you live and the lives you touch and change. It’s what you do to make a difference in this life for however long you will be around.

When you lose those people who become influences in your life, you realize even more how much they change you, how much they challenge you as a person. What are we living for here? Is it just to carry on our everyday lives, a monotonous habitual routine? I don’t think so. We are here to make a difference, even if we don’t know how or why or in what way we will. We look for the callings in our life. Some call it fate, others call it God’s will, and others say we choose our path. Whatever one calls it, it is all a journey. Life is a journey, a series of events that I like to call opportunities. It’s all in how you respond to those opportunities, rather than react to them. Your responses make you who you are and mold you into who you will become. I choose to live learning who I am whilst knowing whose I am. This is my inner being and the journey into the purpose of my life.

While we weep for those lost influences, we find comfort in them too. They become even more opportunities to grow from, change, and then use. We find ourselves challenged to our very cores, selflessness that challenges our human selfish nature. How does that work? Simply, you don’t change the world being selfish.

How can we take the power of this influence and make a difference in this world? That’s part of the journey. It’s amazing how even one person can set an example that can affect thousands of people and they not even realize it. It’s a matter of passing the influence, a kind of paying it forwards essentially.

During my first ever missions trip to Honduras, I realized that my purpose was to affect people in a positive way. I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it. My first baby steps included making the children smile around me. In all reality, they were influencing me more than I was influencing them. I didn’t understand it at the time. I was still in my selfish bubble trying to do things all myself. Honestly, that never was in my control anyways. It never has been.

Divine connections. Oh how I never understood the term. Even the smallest decisions along our paths take us places and bring us to meet people we never would’ve before. One small instance in time can change the entire course of your life! Once I realized how these divine connections worked, I noticed them more and more in my life and was able to see the opportunities in front of me. How I responded to those opportunities has molded me into who I am today. Those opportunities not only included events in my life, but meeting the people who would influence it as well.

Now I find myself, once again, pondering where I’m at in my life. I don’t just want to “live” my life, I want to live! We aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. The sense of urgency is upon us all. It’s not a doomsday urgency, even though I do know that that will come like a thief in the night. However, I choose not to live my life in fear. Fear only weakens us. If we dwell on it, we will never become the influence that is intended for our lives. I choose to take a hold of it and conquer it, thus I become stronger and move towards who I am supposed to become in this life.

I’m not here without purpose. I was created on purpose. When I move one step closer to the intended fulfillment of my true purpose, I know it. I can feel it. I can’t call it satisfaction though. Satisfaction implies completion and I won’t be satisfied until I am gone from this Earth. You see, ultimately this place will never “satisfy” my true and inner being. How can it? We live in a world full of selfish influence and to really make a difference, as I’ve stated before, you can’t be selfish. Yes, you can grow yourself, but growing yourself is a benefit to others. You can change lives just through that.

I pray daily that I can become a fraction of the influence that the people who change and grow me are in my life. They are the ones who have helped me along this journey thus far. Even though I do not know how long I will be here and I stand at the mere beginning of my own voyage, I keep my eyes focused on that ultimate goal. Who I am is a gift given to me, and who I become is a gift that I can give.

Dealing with Difficult People

Why is it that people assume the worst? I do wish that we didn’t have to deal with difficult people in this life sometimes. I know how I can grow from dealing with it, but it can be so painful! I try not to get weary in well doing, but still! It is just tiring! I only have to deal with majorly difficult people on a rare occasions. The problem comes because I really care about people no matter if they are difficult. Those majorly difficult ones are the ones that end up testing my patience the most because no matter how hard I try, I can never win. Not that I need to “win” but sometimes you just want people to realize you are being genuine!

It is my belief that no matter how much a person has hurt you or treated you badly, you should still treat them in a polite manner. This is what I call common courtesy. Why make others feel uncomfortable by airing out dirty laundry publicly? It isn’t for show! I don’t know how to explain it any further than just saying that you deal with personal matters privately and not publicly. Things don’t have to be ok for you to treat someone with dignity and respect! Golly, I sometimes wonder why this is a hard concept for people.

I feel deeply that if a person has issues with me, they should just come talk to me instead of talking to everyone around me! It feels as though when that is done, it is just that person’s way of turning people against me. But to be straight and honest, people who take the time to get to know me, know that when someone does come to them for stupid stuff like that, they know that highly likely it is just a misconception or misjudgement or they recommend that they talk to me.

That is the difference between real friends and fake ones. The fake ones believe whatever they hear without first getting clarification or they judge you based off what that person said. True friends grow you. They point out your flaws, but they only do it to help you become a better person. They also don’t judge you. They know that there will be times in life when you make stupid decisions, but they go on loving you and they don’t let those personal decisions shape their relationship with you when it comes to things outside of their direct relationship with you.

The most tiring thing for me is having to explain who I am over and over. I really do wear who I am on my sleeve. People who are around me everyday or who have ever hung out with me know this! That’s what I really love about my true friends is that they love me for who I am, not who they want me to be. They understand how I am and what’s going on in my life. I can tell them anything without being scared that they will use my openess against me. I can trust them to not intentionally hurt me. My true friends always give the benefit of the doubt to the best of their ability. They trust who I am, not what misconceptions, if any, are made about me.

How many times can you forgive without it being detrimental to your health and well-being? I know that the Bible doesn’t put a limit on the number of times you can forgive someone. Think on this analogy though: Everytime you get hurt by someone its like driving a nail into your fence post. You can forgive and remove the nail, but the fence post still has the hole. How many holes can you take before it just gets to be too much? I like to think I can take a lot of holes, but no one in my life, to my knowledge, has ever driven me close to the limit. Yes, there are people who have put a lot of holes in the fence post, and it is hard to think on whether or not our friendship could ever be the same. I wish I could say it could be, but somehow deep down, even with the forgiveness there, you still have the scars. I find myself being more cautious with those scars when it comes to those difficult people.

The hardest part of dealing with difficult people is making the tough decisions. Sometimes it just takes time, meditation, and prayer. I don’t know how to explain to them how long that will take though, especially if the wound is deep and the healing is still taking place. Either way, I can still treat that person with common courtesy and hope they don’t misinterpret that as being fake. In all honesty, I believe that treating people with respect, even if you are hurting because of them, is very important. Again, it is for the benefit of those around them and you, too.

Ultimately, I know I can grow to be a better person by growing my patience and who I am as a person in dealing with difficult people. I do think it is ok to throw your hands up sometimes and ask, “Why me, Lord??” It’s being human to do that! I still choose, despite that, to live my life happily and in a positive way. Why wouldn’t you? You make the best of the life you are living and choose to do the best you can. I know I try, and while I sometimes have difficulty suceeding in that, I find that most of the time, I do suceed. I strive to be a positive factor in people’s lives, not solely because it benefits me (because uplifting and encouraging people has a reciprocal effect) but because you can truly make a difference in someone’s life being that. What is wrong with being a positive and happy person? Nothing.

Even in dealing with difficult people, you can still choose to not let it get you down. I know who I am, and am convicted to who I am. I know where I stand with God on who I am. In all of that, I don’t have to prove or justify who I am to anyone. I can only hope that people will see that and understand, or try and understand, who I am through that.

Things I Like...

When my nephew runs up to me and hugs my legs.
Taking my nephew to the park.
Holding and walking around my nephew when he is discovering new things.
When my nephew bonks me on the head trying to kiss me.
Dipping French fries in a Wendy’s Frosty.
Limp French fries.
Listening to Rodney’s Music.
Rodney playing his piano for me.
Dipping my finger in Rachel’s homemade icing.
Rachel’s amazing cakes.
Getting my hair stroked.
Cuddling.
Spooning.
Laughing.
Being complimented.
Complimenting people.
Believing in people.
Praying for people.
Giving the benefit of the doubt.
Getting the benefit of the doubt.
Getting hugs from my brothers.
When Thomas actually agrees with me on something.
Talking to Tim about anything because he usually doesn’t talk.
When my birds snuggle my neck.
Playing “Where’s BeBe?” with BeBe.
Having a bird in each hand.
Giving Ashlee head rubs.
Getting kisses from my birds.
Gouda Cheese.
My Mom’s meatloaf.
Going to the movies with my Mom.
Watching my Dad visit with people at church and the hospital.
Dad singing at me at church.
Going to church.
Getting hugs from my friends at church.
When Sammy and Austin pick me up while hugging me.
Encouraging people.
Raising people’s spirits.
Praying for people.
Smiling.
Making people smile.
Raising someone’s self-esteem.
Skinny days.
Working out.
Biking.
Swimming.
Hiking.
Rope swinging into a creek in the mountains.
Beacon Heights off the Blue Ridge Parkway.
Camping illegally on the parkway.
Driving the parkway and stopping at the overlooks.
Stargazing.
Looking at the moon or planets through my telescope.
Watching a meteor shower.
Trampolines.
Moonwalks.
Iceskating.
Snowskiing.
Water tubing.
Driving fast.
Holding hands.
Being held.
Kissing.
Watching movies.
Going to plays.
Acting in plays/skits.
Drawing.
Reading poetry.
Writing poetry.
Singing.
Singing loudly in the car.
Buying paintings.
Commissioning paintings.
Admiring other's artwork.
Finding old notes.
Getting handwritten notes and cards in the mail.
Buying pottery.
Handmade gifts.
Giving gifts.
Receiving gifts.
Classical music.
Popular music.
Alternative music.
Christian music.
My birthday.
Christmas.
Photography.
Scrapbooking.
The Grand Canyon.
Watching the sunrise over the ocean.
Walking on the beach at sunset.
Trying new things.
McD’s icecream.
KFC Cheese Snackers.
A good pair of sneakers.
Laughing.
Making people laugh.
Taking long showers.
Hot tubs.
Holding a newly hatched lovebird.
Turtles.
Aquariums.
Zoos.
Strawberries.
Mac’N’Cheese.
Betty Crocker Warm Delights Mini.
Going to the movie theater.
Playing my Wii.
Bamboo.
Screened-in porches.
Vaulted Ceilings.
Roses and daisies.
Soft bed-sheets.
My pillow.
CBC.
Sleeping on the top bunk (except at CBC).
Taking my parents’ dogs to the dog park.
My mother figures who look out for me.
My business team.
Business functions.
Puzzles.
Art museums.
Science museums.
History museums.
Physics demonstrations.
Knighthood.
Skype Chat Rooms.
People who make me laugh.
People who really take the time to get to know me.
People who understand me and love me for who I am.
My “twins.”
Listening to good songs on YouTube.
Sitting up against a tree in the shade in the grass on a partly cloudy warm day.
70 degree days.
Fall leaves.
Jumping/swimming through a pile of leaves.
Slip-N-Slides.
Walking around barefoot.
Snowball fights.
Building snowmen.
Making snow angels.
The way trees look frosted by snow.
New spring leaves coming in on trees.
Climbing trees.
Memories of my Grandparents.
Seeing/reuniting with old friends.
Being cooked for.
Pasta.
Diamonds.
Survivor.
Watching the Discovery Channel.
Mostly green bananas.
Laughing cow cheese.
Eating pecans off the tree.
Visiting ruins.
The view off the mountain by Amacuapa, Honduras.
Sitting on the pier in Trujillo at night watching the stars.
Walking on piers.
Sleeping under the stars.
Tent Camping.
Volleyball.
Rough-out basketball.
Paint balling.
Capture the flag.
Hide-N-Go-Seek.
Visiting Lighthouses.
Riding Ferries.

I'm sure there are more... I may add to this list later!

Heroes (Poem)

Dedicated to Madonna Higgins, Steve Fowler, and Matt “Ninja Bunny” Gegner
In memory of John Edds, who died serving our country in Iraq

Definition of a hero:
A person who puts themselves at risk, usually grievous danger, for the benefit of another.

Courage, Integrity
They stand and face danger
Unity, Faith
Doing whatever it takes
Situational Awareness, Adaptability
Knowing the role they play
Trust, Dependability
They stand together, supporting one another,
When most would tremble
Caring, Compassion
They do what most could not
Strength, Service
They make us safe back at home,
And the world a better place
True Americans, Patriots
They stand for freedom
National Treasures, Respected
Our heroes,
Standing for what is right, true, & free
Honored for serving our country


Notes: Across all branches of the military, re-enlistment is at its highest: 115%
You CANNOT entice people to re-enlist for a losing cause.
Our military personnel active/reserves make up <1%>

Undenyable Symptoms (Poem)

My thoughts betray me
My heart tells the truth
The warmth of his touch
The fluttering of my stomach's monarchs
The tickling of his breath on my neck
goosebumps
The compassion of his hold
The beauty inside and out
indescribable
His encouraging reminders
The tears when I shed when he's not around
A deep need for him
a prayer
Emotional trust
His fingers through my hair
comforting
A mutual understanding
The love portrayed in his presence
Te quiero, amor mio

10/29/00

Obama's Wrong Ideas for America

So, I felt like I wanted to post up one of the lastest Huckabee updates I got on FB. I really agreed with what he had to say about Obama:

Obama's Wrong Ideas for America

Thursday, June 19, 2008 at 6:06pm

Greetings, from Sapporo, Japan:

Janet and I are still in Japan for a few more days. It is about 5am here on Friday which makes it 3 in the afternoon back home in North Little Rock. We are having a great, but extremely packed week. It feels like being back on the campaign trail, except that the speeches are being interpreted in Japanese and the raw fish is sometimes a little tough on a guy who grew up thinking fried catfish was seafood. Yesterday, I visited with some of the scientists at Tohuko University in Sendai City regarding their groundbreaking research in producing solar energy and in the their development of amazing new materials that are lighter and stronger than steel. I also visited with the Governor of the Hokkaido prefect where next month’s G-8 Summit will be held and spoke to the Chamber of Commerce in that prefect on American politics, US/Japan relations, and economic trends in the United States. We are looking forward to being back—we miss the dogs!

My speech to the Foreign Correspondents Club a few days ago seemed to have generated some buzz both here and back home when I mentioned that it would be a “fundamental if not fatal mistake for the GOP to demonize Barak Obama” in order to win the election. Some seem to have taken that to mean I was all but endorsing Obama! Quite the opposite.

I believe his ideas are totally wrong for America and many of his plans would take us the opposite direction from where I think we need to go. He is an ardent supporter for the most liberal and indefensible positions on abortion, including his refusal to support a ban on the most vile forms of all, partial birth abortion. He has stated that he would be an activist in seeking to push for what the anti-life forces euphemistically call “reproductive rights.”

His plan to raise taxes would be an economic disaster for our nation. We would lose jobs and investment and see the economy really squeeze the working class with even higher fuel and food prices.

He would implement more government control on everything from health care to small business and that’s not the right direction for us.

What I am saying is that we need to challenge Obama on the basis that his ideas are the wrong ones—not attacking him personally. If people spend their time repeating a bunch of internet driven drivel about his middle name (he didn’t choose his anymore than I chose mine), or his race (I do sincerely celebrate that our country has moved to a place where a person’s race doesn’t limit him from aspiring to the highest office in our land, but I just believe that due to his proposals and lack of substantive experience, he’s gone far enough—not because of his race, but because of his sincere, but misguided proposals), or his church (there are far more important reasons for us to elect Senator McCain than where Obama went to church).

Politics ought to be VERTICAL and Obama’s ideas will not take this country UP, but DOWN. I think he is a sincere and obviously a very intelligent and charismatic person. For us to deny that is foolish. Our focus should be to logically and systematically explain why ideas really do matter and why some are bad for those struggling as it is to pay the rent.

Elections ought to be about elevating the best ideas and exposing the worst ones—not engaging in character assassination with half truths, innuendoes, and disputable “internet facts.”

I hope you’ll keep the dialogue going and be a part of HuckPAC. I enjoy reading your posts—even the ones from those who use the blog to attack me. The reason I don’t respond to all of that is 2 fold: 1. I have other things to occupy my time than answering every critic; and 2. You guys—the HuckPAC family do a better job anyway!

Hope you are having a good week and continue to pray for our friends in the Midwest suffering from the devastating floods.

Sayonara,
Mike Huckabee

Rainbow 4.28.08

Check out this gorgeous rainbow from Monday! This rainbow was a full arch!!

There is a second arch in this... you can just see it.

You can see the second reflection also showing up in this shot. It is barely there, but there. The video shows it better.

I love seeing rainbows! The sky view is just perfect to see them from our home!

4.28.08

Gas Prices

What in the world is up with gas prices??!!

I found a couple of receipts in my car and was just doing some comparison. I have cut down, number one, on the amount that I am driving. I cut out any unnecessary or extra driving if I could avoid it. Thus, this has gotten me down to one fill-up a week for my normal driving habits (not including business). Before I was filling up about every 5 days due to commuting, etc. My normal fill-up day is Wednesday.

Looking back two weeks ago on the 9th of April, I spent $3.21/gallon on gas. The following week on the 16th of April, I filled up for $3.35/gallon. This past Wednesday, I filled up for $3.54/gallon!

What in the world???

The increase each week is staggering. I just don't get it. Exxon posted profits in the billions and the only flimsy excuse they could give the government is that their profit margins were in line with other companies. What other companies?

Do these crack heads have any idea how they are affecting the little guy... us? Not only is it costing us more to fill up, but these high prices are pushing up all the other prices in our economy too! Golly gee, we can't get eggs for less than $1.75 anymore hardly! What is that?

I was looking forwards to the economic stimulus check, which our government really couldn't afford to give in the first place thus lowering the US dollar's value even more by printing money to make up for it, but now it looks as though we will spend it in gas and/or food. How sad is that? We can only "stimulate" the economy with stuff we need and can't afford anymore anyways. Ugh.

Sadly, Rodney and I are spending probably close to $500 minimum on gas every month. Having two cars and being separated during the week doesn't help!

I have a picture of me standing in front of a gas sign in the snow holding my parents' dog Sophie in my coat in the winter storm of 2000. The gas prices, if I recall correctly, weren't more than $1.15/gallon. Oh, the good ole' days!

I guess when we get old, we will tell "our children" how we used to be able to fill up for so cheap at $8.00/gallon. LOL. Not really funny though. But there is no other way to really respond because anger just makes us old. Hmm.