Oh how I wish I had learned sooner. Sometimes you really have to see something's dark side for what it is before you draw the line. This being said I do realize I have my own dark side and faults as well. I just choose to grow myself and become a better me on a regular basis to override those.
I've been thinking a lot about how I've drawn the line in the last few months of my life. I came to the realization that I had actually drawn the line around my 30th birthday. I had been told on several occasions that I was wearing myself too thin. I cared too much (especially when it comes to brick walls). I tried to please everyone to a fault. To my own detriment. It was tiring and I was worn to the core. It was as though if you just overstepped me by one bit, you'd pretty much be out. Ironically, to those whose got called out, they thought there were many when indeed there were really only very few.
What it all comes down to is what is something, a relationship, a friendship, a personal goal really worth to you? I had gotten so sick and tired of the falsities around me. It started with seeing true natures around me. I was given hope, then it was shattered. I got told to shut it and so I did. And when the lack of response was too much for the other, it led to permanent severage. And I didn't look back. I didn't shed a tear. I was relieved. At first I thought, "Shouldn't I feel guilty?" But then I realized that without poison in my life, no matter what it is, the fog is lifted. Suddenly, I was carrying myself differently. I was happier. I didn't have to worry so much. And it was VERY noticeable.
I spoke with my sister (in-law) and she told me something very true right after my 30th birthday. She said some things/people/etc come into your life for a season and a reason. Wow. Yes. And that purpose ultimately taught me a few, albeit hard, lessons. Things aren't always as they seem and I really had overlooked the red flags. And really, had done so for far too long.
I've found that the best thing that any negative in my life can do is prove me right. Prove my decisions to cut the chains as the best possible decisions I've made. And golly did it reveal where my focuses in life needed to be. And it reinforced my PMA (positive mental attitude).
The sadder aspect is where those negatives are left. Perhaps, they are left with a negative view of me and my decisions. Perhaps, they are left with what's left of their own negativity or even left with nothing/one at all. Perhaps, all in all, they've found that they were portraying something that really wasn't true. Perhaps, they lost their why and the pursuit of purpose. Perhaps, they are only left with emptyness and broken hearts. All I know is that in my heart, I feel peace. And that, my friends, is one of the best things in life. No regrets. Some things in life are far more important...
