Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Giving Thanks

So, even though I know it's past Thanksgiving, I decided to go ahead and give my thoughts on what I am thankful for.

First and foremost, I am thankful for God. I am thankful that I have a place in heaven because of His son. I am thankful that He created me as I am.

I am thankful for Rodney. I couldn't have asked for a more charming, wonderful man to spend the rest of my life with. He makes me happy. He inspires me and he has such a wonderful talent for composing music that touches everyone that hears it in some way or another. He has a loving heart and takes care of me. He has made me a better woman.

I am thankful for my Mother. She is a beautiful, loving Christian woman who has taken care of me through thick and thin. She is an example to me and teaches me everyday how I should live better. She loves me even when I disappoint her. She is a great cook and always is willing to listen when I need her. I have great pride in having her for a mom.

I am thankful for my Father. He is a great Christian leader in Church and at home. He makes me proud and always shows me how to be a better person. He gives advice even when I don't want to hear it and helps me no matter what. He shares his life with others while helping them. He loves me unconditionally.

I am thankful for my brothers. They both are wonderful men. They take care of me and straighten me out when I need straightening. They always give me a different, sometimes better, perspective on things. They kill bugs for me and fix my computer. They will make wonderful husbands and fathers someday (should it be God's will). They love me as I love them.

I am thankful for my extended family (grandma, aunts, uncle, cousins). They bring happiness with them when I see them. I can't stop smiling in their presence and they always care about what's going on in my life. They are a blessing to have and I always enjoy seeing them.

I am thankful for my friends. They take care of me and listen when I need them. They let me cry on them and encourage me. They keep me in line and even when we haven't seen each other in awhile, everything still feels the same. They support my dreams and help me strive to reach them. They love me for me and accept (and forgive) my faults.

I am thankful for my pets. They always bring joy into my life. They make me laugh and make life more interesting. They will let me snuggle with them and they let me hug them. They always have an open ear!

I am thankful for Rodney's family. They have accepted me as part of the family since the start. They are a wonderful group of people and I always enjoy spending time with them. They have let me take Rodney away from them! I am so blessed to have wonderful future in-laws.

I am thankful for my job. I have such great bosses. They really make the work environment interesting and inspiring. They let me babble on and put up with me. I enjoy going to work. I love interacting with students.

I am thankful for my church. They are a huge resource and are more of an extended family. The people care about me and what I am up to. I feel comfortable there and the love of God shines through them.

I am thankful for my car. I am thankful that it is paid off with the help of some awesome, loving people. I am glad it gets me where I need to go even when it has its quirks.

I am thankful for God's creation. Without the beauty that surrounds us life would not be nearly as interesting or gorgeous.

I am thankful for my life. I am glad God created me the way I am, unique. I am blessed to have been raised in a loving, Christian environment. I am thankful that I can breathe this very moment and that I am healthy.

I could go on and on.....
What are you thankful for?

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Peanut

My dogs are really cute, at least I think so. Peanut is the newer addition to our family as we adopted him last year. He is now about 3 years old:

Peanut!

He is a Jack Russell/Rat Terrier and everyday he never ceases to crack me up! Here is some Jack Russell info:

Jack Russells ...
... are bred to go underground, following scent to locate and bark at quarry until they are dug down to or the quarry bolts. If they do not have an outlet for their natural instincts, they will invent new and fun jobs for themselves, which frequently include guardian of the world and/or their possessions and family, chasing cars, hunting birds, bugs or leaves, or endlessly digging in the soil.
... are a big dog in a little body. They have the same need (or more!) for exercise as a much larger dog... and the mentality to match -- they think they are at least 150 pounds, and are fearless, often challenging other dogs three times their size.
... are commonly known to harass, injure or kill other small pets, such as cats, birds, rabbits, mice, rats, etc., simply due to their strong natural hunting instinct. Raising a puppy with a cat does not guarantee the cat's life-long safety!
... absolutely need a securely fenced yard! Jack Russells will roam due to their hunting instincts.... even if left in an unsecured for a few minutes! You can let them out every day for three years with no trouble....but one day they will disappear and may never come back. Many JR's have been killed by cars by darting into the road in pursuit of a squirrel, cat, etc. They can also dig under, climb or jump over fences; some can climb trees and any height chain link fencing.
... can be very destructive if left unattended and unemployed! Most behavioral problems are due to a lack of companionship, discipline, activity and exercise. If you've only seen perfect, well-behaved JR's, they are ones that were lucky enough to be exercised, well socialized, and trained.
... require firm, consistent discipline. They are extremely intelligent, continue to test their limits throughout their life. More often than not, train their owners before the owner knows what has happened! This ability to train their owners can include displays of aggressive behavior. Their assertive nature must be understood and handled properly!
... are NOT as they are portrayed in the movies, on TV, or other forms of media. Those dogs are professionally trained and handled, and are very obedient only for VERY short periods of time. Celebrity dogs have their needs met by the trainer, and perform their jobs accordingly.
... require a long-term commitment to obedience, activity, exercise and entertainment... their unique character, intelligence and high energy level can frustrate you, will undoubtedly entertain you, and can bring you great joy (when they're happy!) or great grief (when they're not!). Jack Russell Terriers are always a work in progress!

Peanut certainly has some quirky behavior. First of all, we all think he is ADHD. However, upon further research, apparently every Jack Russell Terrier is. He also likes to howl. He'll howl for attention, when he wants to go out, and most hilariously when he has a ball in his mouth (thus, it is a cute muffled howl). He likes to rip apart stuffed animals and de-stuff them (our other dog Sophie who is a Jack Rat does too). One time, we left him inside and forgot about a tissue box that he could reach. Needless to say, when we came home, there were tissues everywhere as he had "de-stuffed" the box!!!!

The latest Peanut hilarity was just yesterday when I awoke to my mother screaming "Bad Peanut, you can chase them but not kill them!" You see, Peanut has a tendency to chase squirrels and birds. This apparently is Peanut's self-designated job. With no warning(normally we bang on the door to give them time to escape), one poor squirrel became Peanut's championed gift to us. As he tried to bring it inside, mom caught him! This happens to be unfortunant squirrel #3.

Peanut actually recognizes the word "Squirrel." He will run to the door in excitement and bark to be let out. In fact, I would say that he is obsessed with going out. He also knows how to jump and roll over. The jumping part is the scariest as I have watched him jump ten feet down to the ground from our deck.

He is a cutie and I would have to say that the quiet moments are the most lovable. He doesn't give kisses to just anyone, and I am one of the priviledged few. It's the moments when he is snuggling with me or sleeping at the end of the bed that I love. But I also love to see him and Sophie (our other dog) play tug-o-war. Overall, if you haven't met my dogs, you are certainly missing out!

Sophie (silly! she's really not mean!)

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Living for Today

So what is it about today? Well, first of all, you are alive. So what is it about tomorrow that has everyone worried? Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Ok, great, but I have a hard time not worrying about tomorrow. However, it's about letting go. The best thing you can do for tomorrow is live in the moment that you are in right now. Life is beautiful. Life is a blessing. Life is good.

No matter what, there is a plan laid out for me. Even if I don't believe it. There is a certain timeline for everything in my life and I have to trust it. Grace is the gift given to allow me to live right now.

There is beauty in everything that surrounds me. In the sky, in my loved ones, in the fall colors, the cool crisp breeze, in the stars. We tend to overlook the beauty right now for a fear or worry of tomorrow. This is a true travesty.

We must cherish the time we had, have, or will have with our loved ones. In a blink of an eye, we may lose them. Thus, living in the moment, right now, with them is the key. This is our blessing. Show them the joy that you have for them.

Love, joy, peace, beauty.... all the things we are blessed with.... take it in and enjoy it.... in this very moment!


In dedication to Evelyn Littleton, loving mother of 4 beautiful children (her legacy), wife, and faithful, Christian woman. Rest in peace sister. (October 2, 1958 - November 11, 2004)

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Origami

You never realize what can calm you, help you procrastinate, or even help you break a habit until you find that one thing and you realize that it is that one thing. So, my boss, Karin, who is one of the most awesome bosses anyone could have, got me hooked on a new hobby. I call it a hobby because, yes, I have spent money on it... Probably about $40. I have discovered the art of origami, better known as a form of fancy paper folding.

Ok, now for some history:
Origami is the Japanese art of paperfolding. "Ori" is the Japanese word for folding and "kami" is the Japanese word for paper. That is how origami got its name. However, origami did not start in Japan. It began in China in the first or second century and then spread to Japan sometime during the sixth century.

At first, there was very little paper available so only the rich could afford to do paperfolding. The Japanese found useful purposes for their origami. For example, the Samurai would exchange gifts with a form known as a noshi. This was a paper folded with a strip of dried fish or meat. It was considered a good luck token. Also, the Shinto Noblemen would celebrate weddings by wrapping glasses of sake or rice wine in butterfly forms that had been folded to represent the bride and groom.

For centuries there were no written directions for folding origami models. The directions were taught to each generation and then handed down to the next. This form of art became part of the cultural heritage of the Japanese people. In 1797, "How To Fold 1000 Cranes" was published. This book contained the first written set of origami instructions which told how to fold a crane. The crane was considered a sacred bird in Japan. It was a Japanese custom that if a person folded 1000 cranes, they would be granted one wish. The origami crane has become a global peace symbol.

So my crane count: 5. I have a long way to go until I reach 1000! The reason my crane count is so low is probably because I really like to make other shapes. The dining room table has become a zoo with a pig, cranes, a toucan, a macaw, a cat, a dog, several frogs, a whale, a penguin, a duck, a swan, a scorpion, a turtle, a peacock, a pelican, and a fish. I also have some lilies and a pinwheel. My favorite ones include the three-headed moat monster and the macaw. There is no way that I have exhausted my origami possibilities!

What's exciting about folding paper you may say? It's the feeling of accomplishment and beauty that you have after you finish your work. It's also distracting me from my bad habit of biting my nails. It picks at my brain and helps me to figure out complex puzzles. It is frustrating sometimes, but it is teaching me patience!

So, keep your eyes open for fun, pretty origami paper. Let me know if you see some, that way I can get it and make something, maybe for you (just ask!). If you would like to see my gallery, you'll have to come by my house!

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Confrontation

I tend to think of myself as "non-confrontational." In fact, I cannot stand confrontation! Someone always seems to get hurt, whether it be them, or me. My dad and my brother, Thomas, are really good at telling me what I need to hear when I am even considering confrontation. Sometimes, I even get angry at them for "calling me out." But, in the end, I know it is best for them to do that for me and for whom ever else.

Take for instance, this one time that I was in a theater. There were two people behind us that were chit-chatting the entire time! Now, for those of you who know me, you know that that is one of my biggest pet peeves (other than people who do not respect my pillow--- c'mon! That's where I lay my face!). I turned to Thomas and told him I was going to say something to them at the end of the movie. Well, he turned to me and said that that wouldn't be a very Christianly thing to do. He knew that I wouldn't probably do it in a loving way. Man! Talk about knowing that I do not handle confrontation well!

I tend to get on the defensive when I am confronted. Everyone who knows me, knows that too. I also try not to have any confrontations in front of other people. I know that it makes others feel uncomfortable and offended. Thus, because I don't always handle confrontations well, I tend to avoid it. This has been the way that I always am. Now, I am not afraid to state my opinion, but I need to learn how to not make that into a confrontation.

I feel that I am a very approachable person, and I think that most people think of me that way. The reason I feel this way is because a lot of people DO approach me. I know that I haven't always been that way, hence roommate problems, and I am sorry that I was and am difficult to approach at times. But, honestly, if you want to talk to me about something, please know that I have an ear of confidentiality. Through my studies, I have learned that to listen is better than to judge and gossip anyways. In fact, I will not judge you if you have something in your life that you think that I will. Through Christ, we have been united in love, not judgment.

Know that I am human, and that I do make mistakes. I can't be the perfect Christian that God wants me to be. I will try, and trying is the best I can give because I am a sinner. I also know that I am forgiven. The ultimate confrontation was Jesus and his confrontation with our sins. He overcame it in the flesh and spirit. My ultimate example is Jesus. I need to understand that I need to look at every opportunity of confrontation as a possibility to show my love for that person, rather than a power struggle. It's hard not to want to go on the defensive, as that is our human nature.

All I can do is ask God to help me to overcome the temptation of making a confrontation a justification of my opinions, thoughts, and life. Jesus taught that confrontation was a way to reconciliation through love, not sin. And that, my loved ones, is what I need to learn.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

God's Will...

Sometimes I just don't understand. Why do certain things happen? Sometimes things just don't turn out like you would expect.

I had been struggling the last couple weeks with the idea that I could lose my teaching position. The original science teacher had come back, and somehow I just didn't feel welcome anymore. I felt like I was inconviencing her. I just stuck through it hoping that over time things would change. I also had hoped, in the best interest of the students, that I would finish the semester with them. Well, that all changed on Tuesday (yesterday). My boss had sat in on my teaching and just raved about my teaching style. She felt like I really had connected with the students in the way that I teach and that I had the energy to keep them engaged.

Then came the, "But unfortunantly...." I was upset, I was confused, and I had a hard time understanding. How could a program whose goals are to retain students, help them attain their goals, and maintain a stable learning environment allow such a "travesty" as some of my students put it? I strove to maintain a positive and encouraging attitude while inside I hurt. I think that some of my students also picked up on it. They even went out immediately after class, got a gift and some cards for me and gave them to me to express their thanks for all that I have done and will continue to do. They are the reason I chose to sign a contract for the fall!

The scary part of this all is how comfortable I have felt teaching the students. I loved spending time with them, teaching them, sharing in their lives, and encouraging them. I believe in them and know that they have much potential.

This all occurred the night after attaining my new volunteer position with the Cary EMS. This whole thing excites me. They are a department that I will enjoy learning new things from. They are excited about having me, especially with my Spanish-speaking ability. I know that I will definitely be an asset.

So, what is God saying in this whole thing? By giving me peace about my teaching talents and abilities, is He telling me my future road will contain something in connection to that? Or, perhaps He is giving me more time to dedicate to my volunteer position? Maybe this gives me time to focus more on Him? Is He telling me He wanted me to see that I could use my gifts in a noble profession such as teaching? Or is He just humbling me after so richly blessing me with the opportunity to spend time with a group that I could influence with my spirituality? Besides, He was the one who gave me my job and the opportunity to work with such a bright group of students.

Either way, I am blessed. He closed one door (or at least shut it part way for now) but opened a new one. Truly, I understand why I am not in Medical School for the fall. I couldn't have asked for a better year off. The Lord has blessed me with abundant opportunities for Him to use me. I depend on Him to get me through all the ups and downs and He will lift me up out of this newest one. The students have expressed their gratitude and adoration, yet they are the ones who have affected me more than I have affected them (this I believe).

Ask God to use you and He will. I know this because he has used me and will continue to do so.