My Most Precious Belonging...

As much as I don't want to admit it, my Mom was right. Yes, she is right more often than not, but in this particular case, I was rebellious. My Mom is a gift giver in her love language (Book: "The Five Love Languages"). It's her "thing." She's thoughtful, caring and always pays attention to what people want or need. I recall one instance where my Mom remembered me mentioning that I needed a sewing box and gave one to many several months later. One small mention that she remembered!

Old vs. New; Hardback vs. Leather-bound; Regular edges vs. Shiny edges!

Now, normally, I am a VERY gracious receiver when I accept a gift, but I got defensive when she gave me a new Bible (bilingual like my current one) for my birthday last year. My current Bible is my most treasured possession. "I don't need a new Bible," I told her. I never want to replace my current Bible! It's worn and tattered, but its got character. It's got the notes of nearly 13 years in it! It's my precious!

Falling apart...

The reason my Mom gave it to me was legit. I had had my Bible for a long time and it's full of notes. So much so that she thought I might be reading my notes more than the scriptures themselves. I don't really feel that way, but I understood her reasoning. 

 I wrote wherever I could! Significant things went in the back and front cover.

Let me tell you a little bit of history about my Bible. It's a bilingual Spanish/English NIV I got in June 1999 for a mission trip to Honduras. The first marks I ever made in it were with yellow crayon as I highlighted the Spanish for the story of Daniel in the Lion's Den for a puppet show on that very mission trip.

Yellow Crayon...

Slowly, but surely, I started keeping pretty much all my notes in it as I knew I'd actually review those notes again. I would gander to say that Dennis Conner is actually probably the name most mentioned next to my notes in there. There are notes from lessons/sermons of both men and women as well as significant points and references to other verses to cross-trend other similar topics. This was my first serious Bible!

White space? Note space!

Now for a couple stories. A few years later, again in Honduras, I had packed my Bible in with my clothes and toiletries in my suitcase. They put all the suitcases in the back of a pick up truck to transport several hours to Tegucigalpa (capital of Honduras). Mind you, they were considerate and covered them all with a tarp, but unbeknowst to me, my suitcase was definitely NOT waterproof and water leaked under the tarp soaking EVERYTHING in many of the bags, including mine. Did I care about my clothes? Nope. I was devastated to find my Bible SOAKED! I spent hours with a hair dryer in the hotel there in Tegucigalpa and as well as when I got back home, trying to dry it out. Once it dried out, I had to separate pages that were stuck together from the incident for many moons!

Watermarked!

I recall another story where I thought I had lost my Bible. I accidentally had left it at Carolina Bible Camp one summer after I had counseled a cabin. I only realized I had left it once I had made it all the way back to Raleigh. I called frantically hoping the next staff of people for the following week would find it. When they couldn't find it, I resigned myself to the belief that my precious, my Bible, had hopefully ended up in the hands of someone who not only needed the Bible, but would be blessed with the notes therein. I was still heartbroken though. A month later, I was attending the baby shower of a precious friend (Elizabeth Mills) and at the end of it, her Mom said that they had a Bible in their possession that belonged to someone in my family (the name inside had been "T. Stuart" and since there are 3 "T. Stuarts" in our family, they didn't know who it actually belonged to). I burst into tears. I was so happy and emotional! I immediately drove across town to pick it up and was so elated to have it back again. Needless to say, I added contact information inside to identify it as mine. 

13 years!

My Bible has been all across the US, from NC to IN to KY to DC to VA to FL to AZ to TX! It has also been to Honduras five times, to Guatemala, and to England (multiple times). It has given me insight during one of the hardest and now one of the most victorious and growth-filled decades of my life. It truly is my precious and is going to be a hard one to put on a shelf for reference. I always said that if there was a fire, I'd grab myself, my pets, and my Bible. 

Notes!

The binding is finally falling apart. The Bible itself is expanded outside the binding from the water damage. It is warped and there are brittle pages. There are bits and pieces of paper, bookmarks (bought and handmade), church updates/bulletins, and note sheets strewn/filed throughout its pages. There are notes in English, Spanish, Hebrew, and even Greek. There are sticky notes and church attendance cards that I wrote quotes on in it. There is tape on the pages I've accidentally ripped. There are tear-stained pages and dirt from being outside with me. I once found the body of a dead tick in it (lol and gross!)! Ink has bled and it's water stained and marked all over. I guess if it still looked new after 13 years, then that might be a bad sign that I'm not in the Word as I should be!

Bigger than the binding...

I feel like I'm stepping out of my comfort zone as I switch to my new (and nicer!) Bible. It's a new edition of my life, a new decade coming up for me (my 30s!). Ultimately, it is time. Time for new beginnings. Time for a new life. Afterall, God will make all things new in the end of all things. Why not start new again, now?

Jeremiah 29:11

My treasure... my precious... my Bible. 

One of my fav chapters!

PS Thank you, Mom, for your thoughful gift and forgive me for not being as gracious as I should've been. Time for a new Bible cover too... 

Oh! That's what the binding is supposed to be like! Gonna be weird getting used to a new Bible...

I wrote this poem on the way down to FL this past Friday. I felt very inspired when we saw these two clouds in the sky. The sky was virtually clear of clouds, yet these were there. I feel that it was a message, and thus, I share my thoughts, my poem with you. Hope it may inspire you as it did I. The background is the actual picture taken of what we saw!

Being a dreamer...

Ironically, I'd say I have been a dreamer all along in my life. But really, I didn't understand what being a dreamer entailed. It entails discovery, mindset, goals, and action. You can't be a true dreamer if you are lacking in one of those areas. Once you discover what your dreams are, you start to get your mind right to pursue your dream, you set your goals, and you take action.

I find that most people struggle, myself included, in all steps. It's about understanding those steps and becoming persistent and consistent in the journey. 

In step two, it takes a lot to get your mind right. You need to grow yourself, your self-image and your positive mental attitude (PMA). If you aren't positive about your dreams, then how will you ever be motivated? You also need to have a sense of urgency. There is a difference between a want and a need. You've got to want your dream so bad, that you need it. Once it becomes a need, it becomes urgent and you start your pursuit by setting your goals (but not unachievable ones as to discourage your PMA-- small ones help move you towards your big goals). You also have to make the decision in the  mindset step in order to start the pursuit of your dream. If you don't make a decision, nothing happens. Then, all of a sudden, you are 20 years down the line and no closer to your dream than the day you discovered it. Protect your mind and grow yourself, and ultimately people will be drawn to your emotional stability and your PMA. 

In step four, the action towards pursuing your dreams, if you don't necessarily have the right mindset, you start checking results. I've seen this in weight loss. We get on the scale everyday at the gym and barely see any change or fluctuations up and down. Then we get discouraged and slow down our action. In fact, this is the exact opposite of what you should do in the action phase of your dream. You keep moving, and moving forward. The moment you slow down, you start to lose your momentum. The moment you look back to check your results, you start to slow down. Don't slow down! Remember your dreams are an urgent need once you have your mind right. 

What if you are stuck in step one trying to figure out what your dream is? This step is imperative. The discovery phase of your dream takes exploration and some trial and error. I've seen this in my life. I'm not negative about the trial and error though because as I've gone down the paths of my life, every step and decision has shaped and molded me today and ultimately helped me discover my dream. There is nothing like finally discovering your dream, moving through all steps of being a dreamer, and realizing that you are fulfilling the deep-rooted purpose of your life.

I always like to look at the events of my life and try and pull the positive out them. It's hard to do, believe me. But as I've worked to get my mind right, I realized that in EVERY adversity there is a seed of equal or greater benefit. When everyone around me is telling me I can't do it, that's when I stick/stuck with it. When I hit plateaus in my weightloss journey, I learned to keep going.

I've also found that if you aren't facing adversity as a dreamer in pursuit of your dream, then you might be on the wrong path. Ultimately, when we fulfill our purpose in life, it is not what the enemy wants. The enemy will try and pull you away from your dreams, distract you, attack you, in ANY means possible. That's when you, as a dreamer, rebuke the enemy and you tell him he is a toothless lion with no authority or power over your dream. When our mindset is right, we realize this and must stick to our guns.  

I'm excited about my dream if you can't tell. I'm excited to win with my friends, my family as I pursue my dreams. My purpose is not about me, ultimately. I understand who I am, and whose I am and am ready to share that with the world. I'm ready to make an impact. 

It's not about the finish line, but it's about the journey.

Just IMAGINE what you can do as dreamer...