I'm consistently amazed at how little (if at all) I miss certain things or people who truly just brought me down. I've learned to distance myself or completely cut off those associations. I no longer want to have a relationship, a truly deep relationship that is, with anyone who doesn't truly want one back or who doesn't bring me up or who just is poison, ultimately, in my life. I'm also consistently amazed about the confirmations I get about those decisions being right and were what I needed to make.
Have I cried lots of tears along my 30 year journey? Yes, but as of late, they are tears of joy and laughter. I find myself laughing more, and enjoying life more to the full. I've got a ways to go in my journey. I'm certainly no complete project. But, knowing that I'm working towards my purpose in life and building deeper and stronger relationships with those who deserve to be in my life, who I need to be in my life, and who I actually want in my life and vice versa on all accounts is truly freeing.
This leads to my ponderings over waiting...
My nephew, Andrew, 5, said something that struck a note with me. I was in the nursery on Sunday morning at church taking care of the little bits and when my Sister (in-law) came to pick up my baby nephew, David, 16.5 months, Andrew followed shortly with my brother (his Daddy). I told him I wanted a kiss and a hug. He said ok, at this point a half door in our way, and I said, "well let's wait until after church at Nana and Papa's." His immediate response was, "Why wait?" I couldn't have been more elated or touched that he said that, and, of course, I immediately went out there and collected the love I had asked for.
Why wait? Oh my how those words are strong. I waited to cut ties with poisonous people and things in my life and that never truly brought me anything positive, but prolonged stress and hurtfulness. I waited to confront issues in my failed relationship with my ex, and that brought heartache. I waited to pursue my dream, and that slowed down my momentum. I waited... oh waiting, how that, in what seems to be most situations, isn't really the answer.
But then waiting, in some instances, can be superbly beneficial. I waited for 11 months (tried a year... lol) before considering dating anyone seriously. When the right time came, though, I didn't wait. And the reasoning for waiting in that instance was sound and founded on the right premise. Truly, waiting is most appropriate when we wait on the Lord and His will for the path of our lives. That's where I will learn to wait upon those things that He calls me to in this life. Otherwise, no more waiting. I will grab the bull by the horns and take control of those things in my life that I can control. In the end, it is only in faith that I will choose to wait on something, not my own understanding only.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
