Loss

Today is a sad day. Today is the first time that we have lost one of our birds.

The youngest of our three new babies passed away today.

She couldn't be saved. At first, I blamed myself. I took care of her yesterday. Had I overfed her? She was sluggish starting about 6pm last night. She didn't want to eat. She was usually the most hyper of all three of them. What was wrong?

I held her in my hand. Put her on my chest. Felt her warmth. Touched her little feet.

Now, she's gone. I didn't think I would get so attached to these babies. After all, she was to be sold to a wonderful family. Even still, I loved her. She was one of my charges. One of my babies.

It wasn't my fault though. Her liver was very swollen; it was a birth defect. She had thrown up yesterday and overnight. Those were the last stages/hours of her life. I think she knew that we loved her. She recognized us and wanted us to hold her.

These things just happen.

God created us to love others, to love dearly. That's what makes us like Him; that we could care even for the smallest of creatures created by His own hand.

Now, her little body can be used to help other babies in the future, so that they may be saved.

I did cry. And, no, it's not stupid to cry over a bird. My heart is tender. Crying helps me to deal with the pain and get it out. But, she's not hurting anymore.

Comfortingly to me, I know she is held in God's own hand. Forever to be warm and loved.