Dealing with Difficult People

Why is it that people assume the worst? I do wish that we didn’t have to deal with difficult people in this life sometimes. I know how I can grow from dealing with it, but it can be so painful! I try not to get weary in well doing, but still! It is just tiring! I only have to deal with majorly difficult people on a rare occasions. The problem comes because I really care about people no matter if they are difficult. Those majorly difficult ones are the ones that end up testing my patience the most because no matter how hard I try, I can never win. Not that I need to “win” but sometimes you just want people to realize you are being genuine!

It is my belief that no matter how much a person has hurt you or treated you badly, you should still treat them in a polite manner. This is what I call common courtesy. Why make others feel uncomfortable by airing out dirty laundry publicly? It isn’t for show! I don’t know how to explain it any further than just saying that you deal with personal matters privately and not publicly. Things don’t have to be ok for you to treat someone with dignity and respect! Golly, I sometimes wonder why this is a hard concept for people.

I feel deeply that if a person has issues with me, they should just come talk to me instead of talking to everyone around me! It feels as though when that is done, it is just that person’s way of turning people against me. But to be straight and honest, people who take the time to get to know me, know that when someone does come to them for stupid stuff like that, they know that highly likely it is just a misconception or misjudgement or they recommend that they talk to me.

That is the difference between real friends and fake ones. The fake ones believe whatever they hear without first getting clarification or they judge you based off what that person said. True friends grow you. They point out your flaws, but they only do it to help you become a better person. They also don’t judge you. They know that there will be times in life when you make stupid decisions, but they go on loving you and they don’t let those personal decisions shape their relationship with you when it comes to things outside of their direct relationship with you.

The most tiring thing for me is having to explain who I am over and over. I really do wear who I am on my sleeve. People who are around me everyday or who have ever hung out with me know this! That’s what I really love about my true friends is that they love me for who I am, not who they want me to be. They understand how I am and what’s going on in my life. I can tell them anything without being scared that they will use my openess against me. I can trust them to not intentionally hurt me. My true friends always give the benefit of the doubt to the best of their ability. They trust who I am, not what misconceptions, if any, are made about me.

How many times can you forgive without it being detrimental to your health and well-being? I know that the Bible doesn’t put a limit on the number of times you can forgive someone. Think on this analogy though: Everytime you get hurt by someone its like driving a nail into your fence post. You can forgive and remove the nail, but the fence post still has the hole. How many holes can you take before it just gets to be too much? I like to think I can take a lot of holes, but no one in my life, to my knowledge, has ever driven me close to the limit. Yes, there are people who have put a lot of holes in the fence post, and it is hard to think on whether or not our friendship could ever be the same. I wish I could say it could be, but somehow deep down, even with the forgiveness there, you still have the scars. I find myself being more cautious with those scars when it comes to those difficult people.

The hardest part of dealing with difficult people is making the tough decisions. Sometimes it just takes time, meditation, and prayer. I don’t know how to explain to them how long that will take though, especially if the wound is deep and the healing is still taking place. Either way, I can still treat that person with common courtesy and hope they don’t misinterpret that as being fake. In all honesty, I believe that treating people with respect, even if you are hurting because of them, is very important. Again, it is for the benefit of those around them and you, too.

Ultimately, I know I can grow to be a better person by growing my patience and who I am as a person in dealing with difficult people. I do think it is ok to throw your hands up sometimes and ask, “Why me, Lord??” It’s being human to do that! I still choose, despite that, to live my life happily and in a positive way. Why wouldn’t you? You make the best of the life you are living and choose to do the best you can. I know I try, and while I sometimes have difficulty suceeding in that, I find that most of the time, I do suceed. I strive to be a positive factor in people’s lives, not solely because it benefits me (because uplifting and encouraging people has a reciprocal effect) but because you can truly make a difference in someone’s life being that. What is wrong with being a positive and happy person? Nothing.

Even in dealing with difficult people, you can still choose to not let it get you down. I know who I am, and am convicted to who I am. I know where I stand with God on who I am. In all of that, I don’t have to prove or justify who I am to anyone. I can only hope that people will see that and understand, or try and understand, who I am through that.