I wrote this poem on the way down to FL this past Friday. I felt very inspired when we saw these two clouds in the sky. The sky was virtually clear of clouds, yet these were there. I feel that it was a message, and thus, I share my thoughts, my poem with you. Hope it may inspire you as it did I. The background is the actual picture taken of what we saw!

Being a dreamer...

Ironically, I'd say I have been a dreamer all along in my life. But really, I didn't understand what being a dreamer entailed. It entails discovery, mindset, goals, and action. You can't be a true dreamer if you are lacking in one of those areas. Once you discover what your dreams are, you start to get your mind right to pursue your dream, you set your goals, and you take action.

I find that most people struggle, myself included, in all steps. It's about understanding those steps and becoming persistent and consistent in the journey. 

In step two, it takes a lot to get your mind right. You need to grow yourself, your self-image and your positive mental attitude (PMA). If you aren't positive about your dreams, then how will you ever be motivated? You also need to have a sense of urgency. There is a difference between a want and a need. You've got to want your dream so bad, that you need it. Once it becomes a need, it becomes urgent and you start your pursuit by setting your goals (but not unachievable ones as to discourage your PMA-- small ones help move you towards your big goals). You also have to make the decision in the  mindset step in order to start the pursuit of your dream. If you don't make a decision, nothing happens. Then, all of a sudden, you are 20 years down the line and no closer to your dream than the day you discovered it. Protect your mind and grow yourself, and ultimately people will be drawn to your emotional stability and your PMA. 

In step four, the action towards pursuing your dreams, if you don't necessarily have the right mindset, you start checking results. I've seen this in weight loss. We get on the scale everyday at the gym and barely see any change or fluctuations up and down. Then we get discouraged and slow down our action. In fact, this is the exact opposite of what you should do in the action phase of your dream. You keep moving, and moving forward. The moment you slow down, you start to lose your momentum. The moment you look back to check your results, you start to slow down. Don't slow down! Remember your dreams are an urgent need once you have your mind right. 

What if you are stuck in step one trying to figure out what your dream is? This step is imperative. The discovery phase of your dream takes exploration and some trial and error. I've seen this in my life. I'm not negative about the trial and error though because as I've gone down the paths of my life, every step and decision has shaped and molded me today and ultimately helped me discover my dream. There is nothing like finally discovering your dream, moving through all steps of being a dreamer, and realizing that you are fulfilling the deep-rooted purpose of your life.

I always like to look at the events of my life and try and pull the positive out them. It's hard to do, believe me. But as I've worked to get my mind right, I realized that in EVERY adversity there is a seed of equal or greater benefit. When everyone around me is telling me I can't do it, that's when I stick/stuck with it. When I hit plateaus in my weightloss journey, I learned to keep going.

I've also found that if you aren't facing adversity as a dreamer in pursuit of your dream, then you might be on the wrong path. Ultimately, when we fulfill our purpose in life, it is not what the enemy wants. The enemy will try and pull you away from your dreams, distract you, attack you, in ANY means possible. That's when you, as a dreamer, rebuke the enemy and you tell him he is a toothless lion with no authority or power over your dream. When our mindset is right, we realize this and must stick to our guns.  

I'm excited about my dream if you can't tell. I'm excited to win with my friends, my family as I pursue my dreams. My purpose is not about me, ultimately. I understand who I am, and whose I am and am ready to share that with the world. I'm ready to make an impact. 

It's not about the finish line, but it's about the journey.

Just IMAGINE what you can do as dreamer... 

Trusting in Him

I find myself getting constant reminders of remembering to trust in God. He is my provider and He has never failed to come through for me. Even if it is not in the way I desire, I know that it is within His will.

Once again, I got that reminder recently.

The First Chain of Events:
As many of you know, Rodney is living up in Surry County during the week and is staying at Dennis & Terre's farm house up there. We got the recent bill (we are paying the difference in the electricity) and it was quite high. Mostly, it was a misunderstanding on how Rodney was to be heating the house to protect the pipes.

I will say that I was frustrated. I shouldn't have been because I know it is not in my control and I couldn't change it, but it wasn't what we expected. We moved some bills around and it worked out ok.

Well, Dennis & Terre decided to bless us and take care of part of that bill, and while it is always hard for me to accept blessings in that manner, I was grateful. It gave us a little more wiggle room.

The Second Chain of Events:
After church, I walked out feeling pretty good. I was grateful to God that he gave such awesome hearts to Dennis & Terre! However, how I responded to the next thing that came upon me in no way reflected my gratefulness.

My car had a flat in the church parking lot. I had ran over a roofing nail. How? When? Who knows?

Now, it was not too bad at first, but it was a small inconvenient set-back in terms of time.
After my Dad and brother Tim started working on putting the spare, I was confident that all I needed to do was mosey on down the road to the tire place where my tires are under warranty for free fixing or replacing.

However, it was not that easy. Somehow or another, the bolts and lug nuts got stripped and just driving it down the road would not be an option. This was where I emotionally responded, not only not being grateful to God for giving His blessing earlier and in having a Dad & Brother who could at least try to help me, but also by hurting my Dad's feelings by blaming him when I shouldn't have. Later on that day, I was truly ashamed of myself.

Many of you know that I have really gotten my money's worth in my AAA membership since October in dealing with my "new" car. In fact, I have towed it twice, replaced the transmission, and locked my keys in it. So, I had to get my car towed, once again (the 3rd time!), and pray that I could get it fixed that day so I wouldn't be car-less the next day. The tow went fairly well, even though I was severely unhappy for having to pay for another tow (which wasn't that expensive, but I was expecting to not have to pay for anything involved with the flat as my tire was under warranty).

All this being said, I thought I was going to get my car back that day, and, in the end, I didn't as they didn't get in all the bolts and lug nuts needed. It was Sunday, so I did give them a little slack, but again, I wasn't too happy because now I had no car for at least the first part of Monday.

Thankfully, my Dad was able to give me a ride to work the next day. Of course, I apologized for my behavior from the previous day, but he had already forgiven me.

Third Chain of Events:
Monday night was the big party. A dear lady of the church, LaVerne, was turning 90 and I had graciously agreed to take pictures for a scrapbook that would be made from the event. The party was lovely and I took some great pictures (if I do say so myself).

Well last night, Angie, LaVerne's daughter, blessed me with some compensation. I had in no way expected to be compensated. In fact, I had agreed to the task thinking I was just helping out! I was helping out, and feeling honored to be even asked to take on that task. I, hesitatingly, accepted the gift.

The Culmination of all 3 Chains of Events:
The kind hearts of Dennis & Terre as well as the gift from Angie almost exactly equals the amount of money we had to spend to replace the bolts and lug nuts on that wheel that had been flat.

Lessons learned:
Trust that God intends to have you learn and become a better follower of Him in all things that occur. It's how you choose to use and respond to those opportunities.

My car is a sensitive subject because I have dealt with so much concerning this particular car in the past few months. Unfortunately, I didn't initially respond to the test in the most Christian manner, but I do feel confident that I acted later according to what needed to be fixed in my life. Most of the time, I struggle mainly with issues that are out of my control. All in all, I need to constantly remind myself that God is the one in control anyways.

I get surprised probably more often than I should when God shows me that I should have trusted him all along! But, I know that I grow a little each time He demonstrates Himself in my life.

God blessed me not just monetarily (taking care of the unforeseen extra cost) but also in teaching me a lesson to relax and take heart in knowing that it will all work out in the end.

^{Psalm 139:23-24
23} Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.