Grateful (Poem)

How can we thank Him?
Our Provider, Jehovah Jirah
We are mended and restored
His splendor is greater than we can know
How can we thank Him??
Our thankfulness can’t match His faithfulness
We are forgiven
He is the Great I AM
How can we thank Him???
Everyday is a new day!
We are daily dependant on Him
He made us in His image
His love is unfathomable
We pour out praise according to His abundance
For which, we are eternally grateful!


© TRM 2006

Frustration (Loving my Enemies)

I prayed for you
even when all I wanted to do was curse you
I begged for forgiveness from my God
after feeling hatred against you
I prayed for my father
one of the most Godly men I know
I prayed for you
after you snubbed his loyalty
I prayed for myself
when I questioned God about His will in all of this
I prayed for my father
who, despite everything, was the better man
I prayed for you
when I cast Satan out from the deeds done
I desperately pleaded to my Lord
as I wept in grief uncontrollably
I thanked my God
for the strength of character I see in my Dad
I prayed for you
even as my tender heart broke
I repented with Him
for all the things I felt and said about you
I prayed for my father
knowing that his future will be brighter
I prayed for you
wondering why you did what you did
I asked the great Healer
to mend and bind my wounds
I pleaded for my Dad
for the Lord's guidance, blessings, and comfort in his life
I prayed for you
asking the Lord to teach me to love you anyways.

by Tamara Money
© TRM 2006

referencing this
~see the GSK drama

A Tribute to My Grandma

April 17, 1927 - September 28, 2006

Who would've thought that she would eventually be gone from us? I always thought she'd be around forever. It was Grandma; she had been to every major and almost every minor event of my entire 24 years of life. How could she be gone? Why? Why did she suffer?

You must know by now that she died from ALS. It is a terrible disease. It is like being in prison inside your body. We all knew that she would die from this. We didn't know how bad it would get. Yet, still, her passing was a shock. She did die peacefully in her sleep. She just stopped breathing. One minute she was here, the next gone. Thank God she died peacefully.

The last few months have been really hard on us as a family. She stayed with my parents for a little over three months starting in June. It was a dramatic change from when she first came to when she left us. At first, it was a lot of phlem. She would struggle to breathe. In August, the doctor gave her two months. My Grandmother passed away on September 28, 2006. Just about a month and a half after the doctor gave her the final timing.

I spent a lot of time helping her. Tim, my youngest brother, and my Dad spent the most time caring for her. There were, however, some things they couldn't do for her. My husband told me that the times I cared for her would never be something I would regret. It is true. I will always remember the time I got the priveledge of bathing her. The times I helped dress her and feed her through her feeding tube. Watching soap operas with her in the afternoon. She never failed to remember when her soap operas came on. I guess that is expected as ALS doesn't affect the brain, just the bodily functions.

Some of her best days happened when a wonderful lady from the church, Sharon, came over and spent time with her. Those days were encouraging. Yet still, I longed to be free to be able to help more.

But now she's gone. My favorite description of where she has gone has to be from my baby cousin John, 8. My Aunt was trying to explain to him where "Oma" had gone. She reminded him of their old dog Buff. She told him that Buff had gone to heaven and could run and play again. That's when John said, "Oh, so Oma's in heaven running and playing with Buff!"

Thankfully, Grandma is not suffering anymore. We had her sign a book for my brother's little girl before she left for Atlanta for the last time. She wrote in it: "I am locked up for something I did not do. I do not know you but will always love you. Will you like Thomas? If you ever get in prison like Oma, jump out!" This is such a reflection of her struggle through this disease.

At her funeral in Atlanta, my brother said some of the most wonderful things about her. It is truly important to remember the good times and the memories we made together. She made a difference in her life, even if it was to show us how much she loved us and did whatever she could to take care of us.

I will always remember: visiting Grandpa at the cemetary, feeding the ducks, bike riding together, walking Poopsi, swimming in her backyard, Easter Egg hunts, darts, killing bugs, catching lightning bugs, raking her yard, everything tasting like Grandmas house, freebies, sour milk, icecream, Toys 'R' Us, walking around the mall for just walking, praying together, her tucking me in, cooking for us even when we weren't hungry, coming on holidays, awesome presents, $5 dollars every minor holiday, her barely readable handwriting, and many, many, more.

I thank God for giving me this woman of significance in my life. I thank Him for the time I had with her. I thank him for the Grandma whom I will always remember and think on. I know she is watching over me and singing the "Amen" song.

I love and miss you.

In dedication to her and to the future Maria Grace who is named after her.