Pondering on Life

As I do approach my 28th birthday, I've decided not to skip it. I've decided to embrace it. Sure, I may not be where I want to be or have accomplished what I expected to accomplish, but there is a whole new year to look forward to. I'm not saying there won't be heartbreak or disappointment, but that's apart of my journey.

When I look back over the past year and the direction I moved and the decisions made, I realize that this my path. Do I wish some things were different? certainly. Would I change anything? Probably not.

I gained friendships, and other friendships became stronger and deeper. I figured out, generally, what I'm looking for. I decided that I'm going to stop compromising on my life. Every time I dwell on things I can't control, I am compromising my life.

Instead, I'm going to choose to live. Move on and upward. Continue to make a difference. Touch more lives. My story may not be one that you agree with the decisions I've made or the direction that I've moved, but here's the kicker: it's MY story. And only I can live it.

A dear person to me told me I have a heart of gold. Whether or not you believe that is up to you, and sometimes I have a hard time believing that myself. I somehow want to associate that with being perfect or good, which I'm definitely not perfect and sometimes don't feel "good" either. But, then I get around those I love and who support me whatever life throws at me and realize that I have to have some "good" in me to have chosen to associate myself with those people.

Am I scared to what is held in the unknown of my future? Yea. Sure. But, am I going to not take that step forward because of that fear? Definitely not. That's what faith is.

Sometimes the choices I've made over the last year didn't pan out the way I wanted them to. Does that mean I made the wrong choices? No, not really. It just means that I still need to realize that I'm not the one in total control. Have I looked behind me and seen two sets of footprints in the sand? Yes. Am I seeing them both now? No. But that's because He is carrying me. And right now, I do need to be carried. He is carrying me through the stress and anxiety by using those around me. And for that, I'm ETERNALLY grateful.

So here it is. I approach my 28th birthday next Wednesday. I have faith that the next year holds blessings that I can't even fathom. Especially, when I realize that I'm not in control and He will carry me through and believe it in faith.