What if

Dear Claire,
‘What’ and ‘if’ are two words as non-threatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?’…
I don’t know how your story ended.
But I know that if what you felt then was love – true love – then it’s never too late.
If it was true then it why wouldn’t it be true now?
You need only the courage to follow your heart…
I don’t know what a love like that feels like…
a love to leave loved ones for, a love to cross oceans for…
but I’d like to believe if I ever felt it,  I’d have the courage to seize it. I hope you had the courage to seize it, Claire. And if you didn’t, I hope one day that you will.
All my love,
Juliet 
***********
The above is a letter written to Claire from Juliet's "secretary" in the movie "Letters to Juliet." There are so many things in there that I wish I could truly apply to my life sometimes. The thing that hit me the most in it was how she addressed the two words "What if."


Those two words haunt me sometimes. I know we shouldn't dwell on the past and how things have panned out in our lives because to be honest, how things have panned out in our lives is why we are at where we are at in our lives today. Though I do ponder those two words a lot. 

What if... I think a lot can be applied with those two words when we make hasty decisions in our lives. Most of the time, hastiness never pays off. Sometimes, it seems like it pays off in the shortrun, but then longterm, hastiness proves to be unfulfilledness. What do I mean by that? The biggest decisions in life should NEVER be done in haste. The hardest part about that though is patience. Do I believe that patience pays off? Most definitely. When you do things right, I feel you will always live a fulfilled and happy life. Do I think that it will be smooth sailing? No way. That's just the nature of life. 


I know for me, my aim is to make my story my own, and how people, relationships, love, fun, laughter, and even all the bad stuff play a role in it all become a part of that story. Yet, those two words do linger... "What if?" But then again, why does it always have to be associated with the past? I think we fail at realizing that those two words have significant meaning in our future as well. What if we decide to take this path or this road? What if we decide to walk side by side with this person or these people? 

What if... Oh how those words can haunt our past but decidedly be so exciting for our future. The trouble I have is trying to focus on the "What ifs" of the future rather than the past. It seems like I always try and make these plans for my life based on the present here and now. Yet, when I do that, I have found it to never truly pan out the way I want it to or how I thought it was going to be. I guess that is also in the nature of how the people in our lives decide to deal with their "What ifs" as well. 


It is so hard for me to just let go of my "plans" sometimes. I have had to let go, it seems, so many times! That's when I start dwelling on those "What if" moments in my past. What if that person hadn't decided to do that? What if I had never been there, done that? Ergh! I guess that's what makes faith so scary sometimes. It's the unknown "What if" of our future (not referring to faith of the Godly kind, since I feel like that is not so much unknown for me). 


So where do the "What ifs" actually fit in our lives, or do they even fit at all? Yea, I do think they belong in our lives, but we shouldn't dwell on the past ones. Sure some of those "What ifs" may always have a place in your heart or mind. Nor should we dwell on the scariness of the future "What ifs" either. 


I've started to kinda adopt the "go with the flow" attitude. Instead of trying to make things work for my future, I've just decided I want to see where it will go, or how it will pan out. I'm looking for the connections in my life that will truly lead some place. The connections that I felt like I saw in the movie "Letters to Juliet" make me hopeful too. So perhaps, the future "What ifs" should just bring hope into our lives rather than fear. I think that's all apart of the attitude of faith that our lives will go where they are meant to go. 


This of course is not saying that you shouldn't prepare for your future, or sit around and do nothing. That accomplishes nothing. As they say, "Fail to plan, plan to fail." But in that, I think it's more meant in the attitude that you can't remain complacent in your life "hoping" that the "What ifs" will do everything for you. You still have to take the simple action of living your life. It's just sailing along with it as it goes. I think that when you do ride along life's journey, those connections that you know are meant to be will really stand out. Sometimes they may not stand out in the manner you expect, or even start or journey for a bit the way you think they should, but that's where life's plans show you that you really can't make life do what you want it to do sometimes. 

But then again, you also can't be hasty in the big things in life either because as I mentioned before, the most important things in life should never be done hastily. Life is meant to be lived in a manner that you can inspire those around you and be fulfilled and happy. At least that's my take on it. We have one life to live, so why don't we do the right thing in life, and just go with it and enjoy the journey. We take the turns we must, back up down the paths that may dead end, but ultimately every "What if" can be just a part of making you who you are meant to be.