Alcoholism & Death

Saturday was a fairly routine day except that I saw a few new things.

First, there was a lady who was an alcoholic. She made it sound like she was in withdrawl, but then we found out she had just quit drinking the night before. She had been a drinker for 10 years. She needed a new liver. The fact that she had been continuously drinking for 4 days and hates food, thus hadn't eaten any for the past 4 days, made all of it a bad combination. She was weak and could hardly walk. She had just been to the hospital not 3 days before.

The last call of the day was my first code. The call comes out as an unconsious 46-yr-old. We jump in and drive to the health care facility that she is in, and on the way it is announced that she may have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate order) and that she is not breathing. CPR is started but discontinued before we get there when the order is brought forth.

The patient was a lady who I had picked up not a month ago for breathing difficulties. She was mentally handicapped and gone from the world. I didn't know how to feel when I walked into the room and found her dead on the floor with the firefighters standing over her. Everyone in the room had come to her aid at some point during their career. Now she was gone.

I have seen a dead person before in funerals and wakes, but never one who has just died. I didn't touch her, but the fire fighters and my partners lifted her up and put her in the bed after we hooked her up to a monitor and confirmed the flat line. The funeral home would pick her up after the family made it over.

What I saw when I looked at her was someone who had been sick for quite sometime. She was already turning blue/purple around the mouth and hands when we got there. I was sad and intrigued at the same time. Her eyes were peeking open and I wanted to close them, but I couldn't/didn't want to touch her. I wasn't ready for that yet.

The last time I touched something that had just died was when my Animal Physiology teacher euphemized some lab mice. They were still warm and that kindof freaked me out. I got over it though, and went on to dissect it. I just didn't want to touch my first code, feel any warmth, and be freaked out.

The thing that has been on my mind the last 2 days is why someone would choose to sign a DNR or a family would choose to have a DNR for a member, even when they are young. I knew this woman was sick, but I didn't think she was bad off enough to have a DNR. All of us in that room that night agreed upon this fact. Could it be because she was mentally handicapped? Who knows? But even still it was odd to think that we legally couldn't work to restore life in this woman's body. She didn't even look 46. To me, she looked 30.

All in all, it was an experience that I knew was going to occur. It was inevitable. I still don't know how to feel. We didn't even do anything but put her on the monitor, so I still have to experience a code where we have to work at bringing them back even if it seems hopeless.

All that's left is to pray for the family. Pray for comfort in this time of loss.