Confrontation

I tend to think of myself as "non-confrontational." In fact, I cannot stand confrontation! Someone always seems to get hurt, whether it be them, or me. My dad and my brother, Thomas, are really good at telling me what I need to hear when I am even considering confrontation. Sometimes, I even get angry at them for "calling me out." But, in the end, I know it is best for them to do that for me and for whom ever else.

Take for instance, this one time that I was in a theater. There were two people behind us that were chit-chatting the entire time! Now, for those of you who know me, you know that that is one of my biggest pet peeves (other than people who do not respect my pillow--- c'mon! That's where I lay my face!). I turned to Thomas and told him I was going to say something to them at the end of the movie. Well, he turned to me and said that that wouldn't be a very Christianly thing to do. He knew that I wouldn't probably do it in a loving way. Man! Talk about knowing that I do not handle confrontation well!

I tend to get on the defensive when I am confronted. Everyone who knows me, knows that too. I also try not to have any confrontations in front of other people. I know that it makes others feel uncomfortable and offended. Thus, because I don't always handle confrontations well, I tend to avoid it. This has been the way that I always am. Now, I am not afraid to state my opinion, but I need to learn how to not make that into a confrontation.

I feel that I am a very approachable person, and I think that most people think of me that way. The reason I feel this way is because a lot of people DO approach me. I know that I haven't always been that way, hence roommate problems, and I am sorry that I was and am difficult to approach at times. But, honestly, if you want to talk to me about something, please know that I have an ear of confidentiality. Through my studies, I have learned that to listen is better than to judge and gossip anyways. In fact, I will not judge you if you have something in your life that you think that I will. Through Christ, we have been united in love, not judgment.

Know that I am human, and that I do make mistakes. I can't be the perfect Christian that God wants me to be. I will try, and trying is the best I can give because I am a sinner. I also know that I am forgiven. The ultimate confrontation was Jesus and his confrontation with our sins. He overcame it in the flesh and spirit. My ultimate example is Jesus. I need to understand that I need to look at every opportunity of confrontation as a possibility to show my love for that person, rather than a power struggle. It's hard not to want to go on the defensive, as that is our human nature.

All I can do is ask God to help me to overcome the temptation of making a confrontation a justification of my opinions, thoughts, and life. Jesus taught that confrontation was a way to reconciliation through love, not sin. And that, my loved ones, is what I need to learn.