Driving the Ambulance

(Look for me driving one of these-- ahh, scary!)

Yes, it is so. I am driving the ambulance. I am not driving the ambulance with lights and sirens yet, but it is fun to be able to speed all around town without a fear of getting pulled over. In fact, I was going 55mph in a 35mph zone in the ambulance the other day and as a cop passed by I just waved, and he waved back. Aww, how sweet.

Anyways, it is kindof nerve racking driving that gigantic thing around town. I am just thankful that I don't have to drive this monster on Six Forks Rd. Those lanes are extremely narrow.

Driving an ambulance is like driving a Ford F-350 with a box on the back instead of a bed that extends 1 foot more out on each side. I end up driving the thing really close to the line dividing the lanes so that I don't take out telephone poles alongside the road.

I thought I would be more nervous driving that thing around too, but once you get in there, you really enjoy it. Not to say that I'm not precautious, but it is fun.

There is one fear that I have. I fear wrecking the ambulance. My personal insurance could go up. I can only hope that if I ever get into an accident in an ambulance that it won't be my fault.

The hardest part about driving the ambulance is backing into the bays. It is stinkin' hard. Plus, they have put up these new concrete poles on each side of each bay so that people won't hit the building. It is hard fitting between those thingys. I am glad we have lines that run down the driveway so that I can sortof see my target. They just need to paint them better or lay down some reflectors.

My next goal will be getting good at driving the ambulance with a patient in the back and one of my partners working back there. I did drive some Explorers (a H.S. group that "explores" EMS life) back to the station last Sunday and didn't sling them around to bad, so I think I'm off to a good start.

On a side note, I came to a scene the other day where the police had tasered the guy (man, I so want to see someone get tasered) and he was a big guy. I was the only woman amongst 5 cops and 2 paramedics and I felt pretty nervous about getting anywhere near the guy. LOL. It was stinkin' awesome, though, to see the damage they inflicted on the door when they kicked it open!

Taxes

So, being in the "real world" has its perks and follies. One folly is that you end up paying more taxes. Probably because you made more money. Oh, so more money = more taxes = no more refund. No more refunds. Hmmm.... Probably because I haven't been paying taxes for the last year!

How did this happen you might say? I am not actually sure. But sure enough, as I looked at my W-2s and my most recent pay stub, they aren't taking anything out for the feds or the state. Yea horay... welcome the big tax bill. And guess what, yeah, I'm broke. I was saving for a house or furniture for when I got married, but now it all goes to the government. I say down with The Man!

Turbotax delivered the disheartening news a couple nights ago. I am dreading writing the $1176 check to the feds and the $548 to the state. Plus, now they want to avoid this problem in the future and want me to send an additional $294 quaterly until the next tax period. Grrrr.... Where is all this money going to come from?

I suppose it could be worse. I could owe a lot more. In fact, with being claimed as a dependant and without donations to church or charity, the bill would probably total $3000. But, i have convinced my Dad to not claim me and added in a lot of charitable monies, volunteer related expenses, and educational expenses and now I only owe the aforementioned dollar amount.

It still stinks.

I did, however, refile my W-4s so that they can start taking money out (since they haven't for the past 3 paychecks this year) so that I can avoid this problem next year.

It still stinks though.

The Stop Sign

Wouldn't you know it, the one time I would miss a stop sign, there would be a cop sitting right there to catch me.

I was on my way to tutor someone and as I cut my way through the back roads to get to the other side of Cary, there is this random, obscure stop sign. You wouldn't expect one there especially in my direction. As soon as I ran through it, I knew I had. I saw it as I drove through and thought to myself, "Ack! I missed the stop sign."

I looked back to make sure I hadn't cut someone off who was travelling in the other direction or caused an accident and as I came to the road I was going to turn on, I saw lights. At first I thought it was an emergency vehicle so I pulled to the right. However, it was a Cary cop, and yes, he was pulling me over.

He exited his car as I pulled out my license and rolled my window down. I said, "Good evening officer." Then he asked me if I had realized I just ran through a stop sign. I couldn't lie. I knew I had, so I told him that yeah, I had missed it.

He introduced himself and that was the turning point in this pull-over. I had run a call with him with the Cary Area EMS! I told him that as I handed over my registration. He asked me if I was about to get on duty. I told him no, and that the I was on again on Friday night. He then walked back to his car.

I panicked a little. I didn't want a ticket! Who does? I didn't mean to, I promise. He spent a few minutes in his car, I guess looking me up. I wondered if I wouldn't be allowed to drive the ambulance because of this mistake (I would have to tell my chief that I had a violation).

Then, the cop exited his vehicle, carrying only my license and registration. Whew! He then gives me a verbal warning, asks me to be careful next time, and ends it with, "I may need you someday."

Praise Jesus! I avoided a ticket because I am a volunteer EMT. That totally rocks.

I can guarantee you, though, that I will never run that stop sign again!

The ones I miss....

I was talking with Rodney yesterday on the way home from Winston Salem about how I miss a lot of my bestest friends (and family). Almost all of them live out of town and I miss them terribly. I have some in Boone, Asheville, Boston, and the Winston Salem area. These are for sure going to be my friends for life as well as some others.

Whenever I get to spend time with them, it always reminds me how much I care about them. From meeting in Greensboro to try on Bridesmaid Dresses to watching Wrestlemania on a big screen TV, the fun times make me happy to see them again. I just wish I had more time to visit everyone.

If I had it my way, we would all live in the same vicinity. I know it especially brings joy to Rodney and I when we see everyone again.

To all of you, and you know who you are: I love you dearly and miss you. Thanks for the calls, emails, and cards. You will always have a special place in my heart. To me, you are more than friends, you are family. I look forwards to being family to the end and beyond.

On my mind...

A topic that has been on my mind a lot since last year is being supportive and loyal to your friends. I try my hardest on most occasions. There are very few people whom I thought were friends, but for some reason or another tend to anger me to the point that I don't even want to hang out with them. I avoid being around them.

It gets hard when they are always pointing the finger at you and never at themselves. They don't approach you privately before embarrassing you in front of people whom you actually care about. Then, they make themselves unapproachable because for some reason or another they have this diluting power to control everyone else around them. They will stab your back the instance you piss them off and those people they have control over will for some reason believe them!

It's hard for me to even call them friends. I end up just dealing with it as best I can and treating them as Christianly as possible. I have to put up with them because they are fellow Christians. That really stinks sometimes.

To me, this sort of relationship is something I would end up getting out of. As soon as I can distance myself from a person like that the better.

It hurts a lot when someone you thought was your friend would all of a sudden not support you, point fingers, and go along with the opinions of the people they tend to control (who might have some power of control over them) just because they don't want to lose control. What kind of person is that anyways? To me, they are someone with their own agenda in everything. This worries me about future endeavors or relationships that they might be involved in.

The way I avoid getting my back stabbed is by not confiding in people that will take what you confide in them and gossip about it as soon as you do something to anger them. It could be as simple as disagreeing with them that could set them off.

It also hurts to see some of my real friends hurt by these "so called friends" through scheming and conniving plans to, for instance, break up certain or potential wonderful relationships and friendships.

I am not normally a confrontational person, especially when it is so hard to approach someone with the above, defined characteristics. My Dad always tells me that I just need to do it, and I really want to. I just feel it is futile and that someone who really means something in those people's lives will have to do it anyways for them to finally get the message.

Don't worry too much. If I have confided in you, you are probably not the people I am talking about. In fact, all of my close friends to this point (and you know who you are) have never made me feel like this. I know I have lasting relationships with many people and I love that we will grow old and still talk about gummy bears, canoe adventures, and "brown recluse" incidents. We will recall the time we had a email fight over a misunderstanding and then an email apology. We will remember ordering pizza at 1am and having it delivered to the zoology lab. We will remember the times we spent crying together over boys, our self-image, and death. We will remember sharing our crushes, getting our hearts broken, and learning to be better people because of it. We will remember hiking to Pilot Mountain, "smelling the flower," and weaning puppies. We will remember the countless times we went to concerts, recitals, youth rallies, sneaking into condemned, haunted houses, and going to camp or camping together. We will remember spending hours planning my wedding, sharing our thoughts, and just chilling out after a stressful time. We will be friends to the end.

It's just the other people, who call me their "friend" but aren't really behind my back, that I will avoid to make my emotional and spiritual life stronger.... without them making it harder for me.

Another day....

So, I now have the nickname "Grace" at the EMS station. Let me explain. You see, one of my partners needed to run an errand between calls at one of the local hotels to check on reservations for his parents. Well, they have speed humps under the overhangs at the front entrance at this hotel and he decided to park halfway on and off it. Unbeknownst to me, the door I come out of on the side of the ambulance had a longer drop than I expected. Thus, I fell on my ankle and ended up sitting on the curve writhing in pain. Yes, it still hurts today and I can walk on it. But, man this stinks. Hence the name, "Grace" as though I am so "graceful." LOL.

Yesterday I was thrown full swing into what it's like being a second person. I was given a call and I had to handle it on my own (with supervision of course). This was a big step for me. I did everything I needed to do and even called it on the radio into the hospital all by myself. I was proud of myself. My partner was very impressed and said I did an "excellent job." I wrote up the whole ticket as well. I had practiced on a "no-patient" ticket, but this time I really had to write a large ticket. I finally felt like I was a real independent EMT.

We ran an accident where an 80-yr-old lady caused a 3 car pileup. She tried to run the yellow light and merge into the right lane in the intersection where another car was running the yellow light (at a red-light camera intersection too!) crashed into them and then a lady in a van who had yielded at the solid green left turn light hit them as she tried to turn before the red not anticipating they would still be in her way. The older lady was a trauma alert. I checked out one of the other drivers, cleared them and then we boarded the older lady and headed off. This accident was blocking a major intersection in Cary, so it was really holding up traffic. I felt a little sympathy for the older lady as she was not only hurt pretty bad, but that a Cary cop followed us all the way across town to the hospital to write her a traffic ticket with multiple violations.

As I was leaving the station yesterday, I pondered the thought of having to wear my uniform for a few errands before heading home. What would people think of me? I stopped at a Blockbuster first and it was pretty neat having the employees ask me if I had run the accident right up the road earlier (as I had). I got gas and then headed home. I had talked earlier to one of the other EMTs and he told me a cop might pull me over in my personal vehicle for speeding, but being in uniform, he wouldn't ticket me. Man, that is too tempting to speed!

All in all, everything went well yesterday except the whole ankle thingy. I did end up getting off late due to the trauma alert lady, but I still had a productive day.

Hopefully, the next time I go on duty, I'll be actually driving the ambulance. I won't get to drive with the lights and sirens yet (after 100 miles or so I can), but it ought to be an adventure. And scary, too.

Alcoholism & Death

Saturday was a fairly routine day except that I saw a few new things.

First, there was a lady who was an alcoholic. She made it sound like she was in withdrawl, but then we found out she had just quit drinking the night before. She had been a drinker for 10 years. She needed a new liver. The fact that she had been continuously drinking for 4 days and hates food, thus hadn't eaten any for the past 4 days, made all of it a bad combination. She was weak and could hardly walk. She had just been to the hospital not 3 days before.

The last call of the day was my first code. The call comes out as an unconsious 46-yr-old. We jump in and drive to the health care facility that she is in, and on the way it is announced that she may have a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate order) and that she is not breathing. CPR is started but discontinued before we get there when the order is brought forth.

The patient was a lady who I had picked up not a month ago for breathing difficulties. She was mentally handicapped and gone from the world. I didn't know how to feel when I walked into the room and found her dead on the floor with the firefighters standing over her. Everyone in the room had come to her aid at some point during their career. Now she was gone.

I have seen a dead person before in funerals and wakes, but never one who has just died. I didn't touch her, but the fire fighters and my partners lifted her up and put her in the bed after we hooked her up to a monitor and confirmed the flat line. The funeral home would pick her up after the family made it over.

What I saw when I looked at her was someone who had been sick for quite sometime. She was already turning blue/purple around the mouth and hands when we got there. I was sad and intrigued at the same time. Her eyes were peeking open and I wanted to close them, but I couldn't/didn't want to touch her. I wasn't ready for that yet.

The last time I touched something that had just died was when my Animal Physiology teacher euphemized some lab mice. They were still warm and that kindof freaked me out. I got over it though, and went on to dissect it. I just didn't want to touch my first code, feel any warmth, and be freaked out.

The thing that has been on my mind the last 2 days is why someone would choose to sign a DNR or a family would choose to have a DNR for a member, even when they are young. I knew this woman was sick, but I didn't think she was bad off enough to have a DNR. All of us in that room that night agreed upon this fact. Could it be because she was mentally handicapped? Who knows? But even still it was odd to think that we legally couldn't work to restore life in this woman's body. She didn't even look 46. To me, she looked 30.

All in all, it was an experience that I knew was going to occur. It was inevitable. I still don't know how to feel. We didn't even do anything but put her on the monitor, so I still have to experience a code where we have to work at bringing them back even if it seems hopeless.

All that's left is to pray for the family. Pray for comfort in this time of loss.

Med School Interview

Today, I went to ECU for a medical school interview. I thought it went quite well. Better than last time. There were a few differences this time though.

First of all, I was prepared and knew what was coming. I still felt nervous, but I understood the process.

Next, I enjoyed interviewing with both of the people this time. The first lady was really nice. She was enjoyable to talk to and I felt really comfortable with her. It was the second person that I interviewed that was the best part.

Before I get into that, I noticed a few different things about my experience in other aspects. They moved the admissions office for one, into a better area: on the same floor as the medical school classes. Dr. Peden also had his lower leg amputated due to cancer. He didn't want to endure the very hard chemo again (this was a second occurence). Lastly, the tour was longer and more in depth than last time.

I found out some really important things about the fact that I would be married when I started if I get in. It's actually a really good thing. Especially since everyone who is already married think its a great thing to have someone to come home to. They also have a spousal support group for spouses of BSOM (ECU Brody School of Medicine) students. They really try hard to make everyone whether married or single feel important and welcome. They know that married students still want friends and study partners and try hard not to let them being married make them become loners. This really excites me!

Now back to the 2nd interviewer. Everything was going great. Then Dr. Patton threw me a couple of curve balls with a couple of scenario questions. He asked me if I couldn't be a doctor, what would I do. I had rehearsed myself for answers like that. I told him I still wanted to do something in the health professions field. Then he came up with a scenario that if all the med schools I had applied for accepted me and they all had the same financial draws, why would I choose BSOM. Well, I knew that BSOM was a best fit for me and really meets my needs for my future goals. Then came the question I hadn't prepared for. Why wouldn't I choose BSOM over the others. That was a toughy. I told him that maybe because someone might not recognize the prestige of ECU (not that ECU wasn't prestigious) like they might of UNC or Duke. I also said because they might accept me easier because of a greater class size. Either way, I was nervous. He told me that I didn't need to rationalize my answers because he had opened up that barrel of monkeys. I felt fine about my answers.

The whole kicker came when he asked me what drives me. I thought for a second. I knew in my heart what drove me. It was God. Should I say that though? What if he wasn't religious? He was going to represent me to the committee. What if I offended him?

I decided that I shouldn't be scared of my convictions. I started on the conservative side and said that I was a religious person. He asked me to clarify. So I said that I was a Christian and told him that God's will and purpose for me is what drives me. I continued to tell him that the only reason I feel I have a purpose in life was because God gives me one. At this point, the interviewer started to fumble around like he was looking for something. He finally pulled out one of his business cards and wrote a URL on it. He explained to me that the URL was one of the Christian Medical Dental Association and that he too was a Christian (much to my relief!). I then told him that I was also looking forwards to going to ECU because of the Greenville Church of Christ. I had told him early that I was actively involved in lots of things in my home church. He said he had a good friend whom he had the best religious discussions with who went to that church. I was absolutely amazed.

At the end of the interview, he made it a point to ask if he could say the interview was officially over. I said yes. Then came the best part of the whole day. He asked me, "Would you like to pray?" I almost went into shock. Of course I wanted to pray with him! He said he loved meeting other brothers and sisters in Christ. We held hands across his desk and I listened as he prayed for me. He prayed for my effort to get in, for it to be successful should it be God's will, he prayed for Rodney and I. I wanted to cry. But, I kept my emotions inside. I was just so happy for this wonderful experience. We hugged on the way out and I told him that I definitely show my face should I get in. Overall, it was just so wonderful that I had met another Christian doctor.

All in all, today was the most positive experience I've had in all my medical school pursuits. I am glad God put me there. Thankyou Jesus and Amen!

Grandma & A Murderer on the Loose

My family and I went to Atlanta last Thursday because my grandma was scheduled to have hip replacement there. It was a scary thought, thinking that my 77 yr old grandma was going under the knife for such a large operation, but I knew everything would be fine.

Last Monday, grandma had driven up to Raleigh from Fayetteville to catch her flight. She had just found out that we were going down to Atlanta to be there behind her during her surgery. Her comment was, "The only thing you're going to be behind is my hearse..." in a joking matter of course. What a way to think! Of course I told her that wouldn't be the case! She was limping really bad and her pain on a scale from 1 to 10 was a 10, the worst.

The trip down wasn't too bad except that I lost one of my good earrings. I loved those things. I have never had anything fall out of my ear before so I got upset. We looked for it on the way home, but haven't found it (it might still be in the car, who knows?).

Anyways, we got to the hotel and found out that someone had stayed over in our room. Thus, we had no room. On the weekend. The same weekend as the SEC tournament (NCAAB). Luckily, they had a few rooms left, but the guy messed up and gave us a room for 2 instead of 4. We went up to the room to discover that fact and then went right back down to fix the problem. Finally, they just upgraded us. Yea for mistakes!

We ate with grandma and my aunt at my aunts house. It was some good eatin'. I love being from the South. The next morning we got up to a hot Continental Breakfast and found out that a major shooting had occurred in Atlanta. Yes, Mr. Nichols was on the loose after killing 3 people. Of course this kindof of thing would happen just when we happen to come to town. Nerves rose, but we decided not to live in fear. What kindof life would that be?

We met grandma at the hospital at about 12:30pm and sat with her until they took her back to pre-op preparation. Dad went back there and annointed her with oil and prayed with her. A little while later, we were all called back to give her kisses and pray as a family right before they rolled her in.

Piedmont Hospital was a pretty awesome hospital. They gave us updates every so often during her surgery. It was a relief to know everything was going well. We all hung out in waiting area playing cards all afternoon. Rummy was the game of choice, and we were pretty much rummied-out by the end of the 4 hours.

We got word that she was out of surgery, everything was successful, and that all we had to do to see her was to wait for her to get out of recovery. When we first saw her in her room, it was amazing. I have never seen someone look so good right out of surgery. It was a wonderful answer to so many people's prayers!

We left the hospital at about 9pm, caught a late dinner, and then headed back to our hotel for a Nichol's update. That, however, took longer than expected as we got lost, drove south instead of north and drove right through downtown, where the shootings had taken place and where they found the Honda a few hours later that he had highjacked by pistol-whipping the driver. Scary? Yes. Cool? No. We did make it back to the hotel ok.

The next morning, we found out that Mr. Nichols had taken a train to a mall not but 10 minutes away from our area, killed someone at a home they were building, and then kidnapped and held a woman hostage. All of this was within the Buckhead area, the very area we were staying in. Thank goodness they had caught him. It did unnerve me though.

Grandma looked great Saturday! She even got up and walked a few times. We spent some time with her and then took a break in the afternoon. We ate lunch at a bison place, where I, yes I, ate real buffalo meat. It was in a chile, but I also tried some of Dad's buffalo meatloaf. Interesting. Slightly drier than beef, but not bad.

We came back around dinner and spent a few more hours and then left her to sleep. We came back for the last time early Sunday where we watched grandma walk 120ft! Granted she only has to walk 90ft by the time she leaves the hospital, it was amazing! Hopefully, she'll be released in the next couple of days. We also watched the occupational therapist show her how to dress, etc. Some genious came up with these awesome tools for people who can't bend their hip past 90 degrees until healed.

We visited a Church of Christ that was bigger than ours in North Atlanta and then headed home. All in all, it was a good trip. We fulfilled our purpose for being there for grandma. I did learn that I couldn't do much longer than 7 and a half hours in a family car ride. Especially in a small Ford Focus Wagon. Amen.

Did I mention the staggering number of Kentucky fans at the hotel? Old people decked out college crazies paraphernalia such as blue wigs and lays are scary. Yes, it's true.

Overall, I am looking forwards to grandma being able to walk without pain! Continued prayers for my grandma's recovery would be greatly appreciated.

Quiz

I don't usually post the results of quizzes that I take online, but I liked this one:

What Polyhedral Are You?

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Just thought that the description was pretty close:

You are the large, round, friendly d20! (You probably didn't know this, but the shape of the twenty-sided die is called an Icosahedron.) You are the friendly, outgoing, outspoken, leader of friends. You are often looked up to, even though you don't normally deserve it. Most other types secretly wish they were you, and you'd give them tips on how, if only you had a clue yourself. Your charisma is often all you need, but you have your occasional moments of brilliance as well--just never when it's actually needed. You are the all-around good guy, a dependable chum, a respectable foe, and an inspiration to those who need one. Who says you can't get by on a smile and good looks alone?

Quiz disclaimer:
This survey is completely scientific. Despite the mind-boggling complexity of mankind, the billions of distinctly different personalities found on Earth can easily be divided into seven simple categories that correspond to the five Platonic solids, a pseudo polyhedron, and whatever the hell a d100 is. The results of this quiz should be considered not only meaningful but also infallible, and pertinent to your success as a fully realized individual. If you feel the results of this examination do not match your perceived personality, you should take whatever drastic measures are needed to cram your superego back into proper alignment, as described by the quiz results.
And if you believe that, we have some really great critical-hit insurance to sell you.

Hmm.... Interesting. True. LOL.

update on the wedding

So, I am much relieved that I can put quite a number of huge check marks on my list for stuff to do for the wedding. I have an awesome director who just keeps me in line and makes me get stuff done. Boy, am I glad I have her doing that. Otherwise, I would be sooo slack.

The weekend before this past weekend, I met up with the majority of my bridesmaids. I was so glad when everyone showed up because I wasn't sure if everyone would find it, etc. We had a blast over lunch (on me, of course) just talking and catching up. Then we headed over to David's Bridal in Greensboro and they tried on tops for their "dresses." I had so much fun watching them try on stuff. It was cool because they had a choice and I got a preview and the chance to express my opinion (which is a good thing for a bride.... as long as they aren't becoming bridezilla). I took pictures, we hung out, and overall just had fun. Everyone ended up picking a different top which really excites me. They are all going to be so beautiful! On top of all that I got to ride there and back with Andrea which was a lot of fun. It was nice to catch up and hang out with everyone. I miss you all soooo much!

Well, last Monday, after getting all the bridesmaid dresses, I dragged Rodney over to After Hours formal wear and we picked the tuxes. Big Check Mark Number 2. The groomsmen, with the exception of Bob, will all be wearing the matching apple red vests (the bridesmaids are wearing that red) as well as my brother Tim, an usher. The Dads will be wearing a dark blue vest, and Rodney will be wearing platinum. It was fun watching Rodney get measured!

Then, this past weekend, we got registered!!! Finally! Our first stop was Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The majority of our stuff is from there. We even got our flatware from there. It was a blast picking out stuff. I think we spent like 2 and a half hours there.

Then we went to Kohl's. They used to be an awesome place to register, but the amount of good stuff there has seemingly decreased. We still did register for some stuff there, but not as much as I had anticipated. It was trying to get our stuff downloaded from the scanner that became the hassle. It took them 30 minutes to close out our scanning. Apparently, there was no one there who really knew how to mess with the scanner. We ended up being late for our 2 o'clock appointment at Belk. Which was our third stop.

I didn't really think I would register for a lot of stuff at Belk, but we found our dishes! That was the biggest thing. It is the Linea Pfaltzgraff pattern. I checked out our pattern on Pfaltzgraff.com and the price is actually better there, so we registered at that website too. It had a couple pieces that weren't at Belk, but Belk had a couple of pieces not on the website. You can probably find our pattern at the outlet in Burlington and/or Smithfield. Here is a picture of our pattern: http://www.pfaltzgraff.com/profiles/catalog/search.asp?UID=2005030714125911&Query=Linea. I personally think it looks elegant, but not too much so that it couldn't be used on an everyday basis.

The last place we registered was at Dillard's yesterday. We actually got a good amount of stuff there too. We found some decorative towels and a good number of serving dishes we want/need.
Anyways, if you are wondering what we have registered for, you can go to any of those stores and search for my name, my fiance's name, or even our wedding date in their gift registries. You can also visit the stores online and search for us in the gift registries; they even offer free shipping! Otherwise, you can just come to the shower on May 21st!

Other than all of that, we are just hounding away at some of the details, hashing out ideas, and just slowly checking them all off. Our latest idea... perhaps a cake shaped like Minas Tirith with little LOTR figures and of course Aragorn and Arwen at the top. LOL.

car crashes

So the past 3 calls I have run have been car crashes. I really like being able to go to a car crash and really check it out. It's like having permission to rubber neck, except that I am not in a car and I get to actually look at all the fun details outside.

The first accident call of the three was pretty interesting. An 18-yr-old female tried to do a U-turn on a busy road causing a "broadsiding" accident. The 18-yr-old guy in the other car got out all pissed off and started yelling, cussing, and threatening the poor little girl who was half his size. That was not cool, and it could've gotten him into a lot of trouble with the police. They actually talked to him in front of us in the ambulance. He might have been riding with them, instead of us. He wasn't hurt too bad, but his lip had been busted because the rear-view mirror fell off and hit him. His car was totalled. Hers was nearly totalled.

The second call was scary and neat to check out when we went to the scene. Some 40s-yr-old lady had just nailed a telephone pole and chopped that sucker in half. Here's the kicker: the top half of the pole was stuck in the front of her truck and the power lines were just hanging precariously out over the road. Needless to say, we approached the scene very carefully. She walked away from the accident and would not allow us to even touch her, but that was okay because the officer on the scene was ready to haul her off to the big house where the sun shines through bars. She had been obviously drinking and the police officer was about to get off work.

We might have had a real problem had the pole fallen out while we were on scene. First of all, we were a little too close to the fall path of the power lines. Secondly, there were some onlookers in the next yard leaning on their metal chain-link fence clearly in the path of those falling lines. One of my partners yelled over for them to get away from the fence, and the man looked at him like he was a retard. "No, you are the retard... he's trying to save your life" is what he and I wanted to say. This crash became a huge neighborhood reunion as everyone couldn't help but come out of their houses at 9:30pm to check it out.

The last accident had the "worst" injury. It happened at about 1am at an intersection where a solid green light is in a left-turn lane (yield people!). My suspicion is that the daughter in the car turned and didn't see the oncoming car, and that other car t-boned the side that the mom was on. She seemed to have some sortof back injury, so we had to back-board and neck-brace her.

I have been kindof hoping for some cool calls, but checking out the damage has been very interesting. I am also still waiting for my first code (dead person) so that I can learn a lot and experience being around someone who has just died. No, I'm not morbid, I just need the experience. It is bound to happen sooner or later.

6 times in one night??!!

Ok, so, when I got to the EMS station last night, I somehow knew that it was going to be a rough night. However, I didn't think it would be that rough.

I know you're probably saying, "Whoa, really? You must have seen some interesting stuff." Man, I wish!

I got to the station I'd say around 6:50pm and immediately put my stuff down and ate some dinner. I ran into Bradley and he told me that both teams were out and that we couldn't run any calls since there was no 2nd person. They were out running a code (dead person)-- why can't I ever seem to get those kindof calls... grrr!

I did however check off the entire inside shelves and drawers without a checkoff sheet in the unchecked ambulance (which is a hard thing to do) and only referred to a check off sheet in checking off of a couple of the bags. So, in this, I felt like I had accomplished something.

Well, we were definitely slow, especially as we waited for the next call. We had an observer (you're allowed to observe if you want for up to two times a month) and he got to see the code. Of course he would, when I haven't ever seen any! LOL.

I watched some TV, we all had coke floats, and then I pretty much went to bed. This was the start of chaos. In short, someone was probably in training at the dispatch station last night. Why did they do that? Probably to torture us.

First call, we were first up. The light pops on and the tones go off. The confusion sets in. They had called both us and Morrisville. We wasted 5 precious minutes with central while they tried to figure out who's call it was. Finally, they made up their mind! It was ours. We got up for a nosebleed, though. An 11-yr-old boy had woken up with a nosebleed at 12:30am and then passed out after seeing his blood. The mom freaked out, called us, but everything was fine by the time we got there. No blood, no unconscious patient, nothing. We checked him out and headed on back to the station. That is what we call an unbillable call.

Then came 1:30amish. Call for us. We weren't up, the other team took it. Again, bright lights and loud noises waking me up.

Next interruption of my precious sleep.. about 2:30am. Call for Morrisville. The tones rang over our intercom for them and us (thus, the bright flourescent lights came on). Why? I'm not sure. But it woke us all up and it wasn't even our call.

3:15am- call for us. We had three trucks running, so we weren't up again. However, this call put us up next as the other other team took it. Again, woken up, this time during the middle of a dream. Why was I dreaming about tsunamis? I don't know, but it was kindof scary and weird. Glad for the interruption of the dream but not the sleep.

4:00am- call for us, but it wasn't in our district. Our tones rang and the lights popped on. We heard the address and then called up central and said, "Hey, that's not our call. It's Morrisville." Thanks for the wake up call (sarcastic!). They had to do the tones for Morrisville, so more loud noises.

Thus, after all is said and done, I'm not running on a lot of sleep today. Plus, when I sleep in the "guys dorm" there is always snoring. Boo. It also takes some time for us to get back to sleep after the very abrupt and unsubtle wake up calls we get. Christian had written earlier in the call log that it had been a slow day. That is always a jinx. Thanks!! I'm guilty of saying it though.

The moral of the story is: Do not train new dispatchers at night. They will mess up and make everyone miserable through their mistakes. I do appreciate them, but would prefer that they train people during the day. This way, we wouldn't have gotten woken up so many times by mistake. If that person wasn't in training, they need to be trained again.

Stabbing, seizure, and fever

Sorry Bridget, there aren't any extemely interesting things to report from EMTing last Thursday, but I thought I'd tell everyone what experiences I picked up.

So, I have kindof coined these terms: EMTing, EMTed, will EMT, etc. You all know that EMT stands for Emergency Medical Technician, yet I have made it into a verb on many occasions. Being an EMT is not about the title; it's about action. So, I feel that using the abbreviation to tell people what I am doing, going to do, or did and saying that is most appropriate.

Now to move on to the calls of last Thursday (I would have written sooner, but I went to the beach Friday-Sunday).

Our first call wasn't interesting at all. We went on standby, and as we drove to our standby location, we went off standby. It was pretty much a waste of ten minutes and 4 miles.

Then, we got a call about a 27-yr-old female who apparently went into a seizure. So we drive over to her place and find that she has recently had surgery for an extremely badly broken arm just under the shoulder (3 pins). She was on some medication that required monitoring and minor shocks to work. This is what, most likely, caused her to roll off the couch into a seizure and roll around on the floor on her broken arm. Ouch. She was dazed, confused, and mostly scared about the whole incident.

The third call of the night was the most interesting. It comes over the radio just after I went to bed as a stabbing. I got really excited thinking I was about to see some cool stuff. They described the incident as domestic violence, so when we got there we had to wait for the police to secure the area... in the cold. That wasn't fun. It was cold, and the wind was blowing and cutting through you like a cold, windy day in Boone as you walk up a hill that channels the coldest wind you will ever know.

On a side note, I need to invent insulated latex gloves. I could make a lot of money off the EMS and Fire Departments.

Finally the scene is secure. I lug the Trauma bag down a small hill to discover a 33-yr-old man with blood all over his hands. Upon further inspection, his stab wounds appeared to only be minor lacerations. This is when I got a bit disappointed. I had gotten excited for a few tiny slash marks.

Apparently, his wife is psychotic. She has been addicted to heroine. He finally got fed up, mentioned the big D word and she got pissed. She pulled out a pocket knife and started slashing at him. Then she grabbed his keys, motorcycle helmet, and their 4-yr-old daughter and sped off in her car leaving him stranded with bloody hands (as he tried to protect himself). He was mostly concerned with his daughter and not himself or his "wife."

The last call of the night was another elderly person (as we get a TON of those) with a fever, high blood pressure, and high blood sugar. His fever had been too persistent for comfort so the wife called us.

Thankfully, since I had to work at 8am the next morning, we didn't get any calls after I went to bed at 1am. But I had gotten up twice, and that made me especially tired (man I am getting old, wanting to go to bed at 1015pm). Either way, I still enjoy volunteering.

Superbowl Commercials

I am a huge fan of the commercials during the Superbowl. This is the only time I like commercials. I am really only an intense fan of the game itself when the Carolina Panthers are playing, but I tend to try to choose the underdogs and watch the game for fun.

I was pretty disappointed last night with the Superbowl commercials. Only 4 of the many commercials were really good. Then, for some reason, there were several commercials that were just repeated over and over. Take for instance, the new Ford Mustang convertible coming out. I would've ranked that one as cool, except that they repeated it ten billion times.

Next, are the recurring themed commercials. The monkeys they used to advertise the online job source just got annoying. The first time, I was like, "oh, I get it. Are you working with a bunch of monkeys?" Then there were just several of the same. It was tiring.

The 4 unique commercials that I enjoyed are as followed (ranked highest (1) and on down) with descriptions after:
1. Ameriquest's Cat commercial- this was the funniest one for me. I continued to laugh after the commercial was over! Here is this guy, with all intentions of cooking his honey a lovely dinner. The cat likes to get on the counter. He shooes the cat off the counter and proceeds to cook italian food, red sauce being the kicker. As he is chopping something up, the cat jumps on the counter and knocks the pan of red sauce all over itself and the floor. Guy freaks out, picks up cat covered in sauce, lifting it above the red sploch on the floor, knife in the other hand, just as gal walks in. It flips over to "Don't judge to quickly." hehehe.
2. Diet Pepsi, P-Diddy commercial- Here is P-Diddy, on the way to the Academy Awards. His car breaks down in the desert. Diet Pepsi truck comes by and picks him up giving him a ride to the awards. Everybody is shocked at what P-Diddy appears to be driving. This starts a new trend where everyone is getting a Diet Pepsi truck, most pimping their ride up! At the end, Carson Daily drives by P-Diddy and hollas at him to check out his ride as P-Diddy gives him a confused/"what tha" look.
3. Cell Phone Ad- Guy claims his service has worked pretty well for him all the time, except a few unimportant times. Then you see a pet store trying to call the guy and explain that instead of taking home a Boa, he has taken home a very poisonous snake. This information breaks up over the phone as the guy is playing with his "pet" snake. He says, "Come on, gimme a kiss" as the poisonous snake bites him!
4. BudLight- Scenario: Parachuters on an airplane, hesitant guy. Leader tries to lull him to jump by tossing out a six-pack of BudLight. He hesitates, and then you see a man run by him and jump out without a parachute after the beer. The two realize that that man was the pilot and the leader jumps. "Just too good to pass up."

So, these are my top picks for the Superbowl commercials 2005. Now to reminisce a little.

Some of my more favorite past commercials have included products such as a few dot.coms, 7up, Pepsi, and Budweiser. My favorite one is a hard pick.

There was a dot.com that tried to shoot hamsters through the "O" on a wall that had a hole through the center with a small, high-powered cannon. They repeatedly missed and the host would say stuff like "oh, so close!" It was absolutely hilarious. They finally did aim right and get one to pass through. I know it enraged some animal right activists, but they did show the hamsters walking away ok. I was shocked, but laughed the whole time!

I loved the frog commercials. "Bud" "Weis" "Er."

Then there were the 7up commercials. There are so many hilarious ones. I loved the original 7up guy with the dreads. Now, he was funny. One of my favorites was when he asked everyone to send pictures of their "cans." Instead of getting a bunch of pictures of cans of 7up, he got a bunch of pictures of people's butts! My favorite line was "looked like two big Christmas hams." Then he ends it with, "Mom?!!" The 7up people always came up with something creative, whether it be random machines in random places, or a guy that chased a cheetah that drank/ate his 7up can.

The herding of the cats instead of cows.

The cute Pepsi little girl!

Sometimes, I can't always remember what exact product they were advertising, but I can remember the jists of my favorites. I also can't stand ones that use people who I don't really like, such as Britney Spears. Ugh, who wants to see her in another skimpy outfit? Not me.

Well, if you have any favorites that you can think of, write a comment and remind me. I probably will remember it, and if I don't, it would be great to see your thoughts and opinions! These are all that I can think of off the top of my head, and I know I have had more that I have liked!

Dreams

So I have had several pretty intense dreams in the past few days. I can't always remember the details of my dreams, but I do wake up in an emotional state because of them.

I have always had intense dreams every so often. To some extent, my dreams in the past were so intense that I physically carried out actions in my sleep.

A more common instance when I was younger was that I would actually sleep walk. I slept walked into my brothers room during a storm and you may not believe it, took a shower in my dreams. How did I do that, you might say? Well, I was dreaming that it was 6am and that it was time for me to get up and get ready for school. So I got up, took a shower, even shaved my legs in a half-awake, half-asleep phase. When I walked out of the bathroom in my towel, I noticed that my parents were sitting in the family room watching TV. This was unusual as they are never up at that hour and that's when I realized I had been dreaming. I played it off of course. When I woke up in the morning, I didn't really believe I had done it until I touched my legs. Clean and smooth!

Most commonly, I would wake up not knowing I had gotten out of bed and done something weird unless my toe hurt (I stubbed my toe one night) or one of my roommates told me that I did something weird.

My first roomie in college told me one of the weirdest things I ever did was get out of bed, kneel on the floor and move my hands like I was checking plants in a garden. While I did that I said, "the flowers, the flowers!" My roommie then proceeded to tell me that the flowers were fine and that I needed to go back to bed. Very odd! I do not remember doing that at all.

I have a fear of dangerous spiders and I hate roaches. Occasionally, with my travels outside the US, I have come in contact with them. Often, when I was little I would wake up screaming that there was a bug, wake up the whole house, and have my dad and/or brother come in to see what was wrong. There was nothing wrong and no bug--> I was dreaming. I still have those occasionally, but I don't scream. I more like wake up turn on the light and search for where the bug has run off to before realizing that I am dreaming.

Any of you who have shared a room with me know that I sometimes talk in my sleep. I definitely don't remember what I said, and sometimes what I say is incomprehensible. Occasionally, I say the funniest things. We could carry on a whole conversation and I would have no idea that we did. The moral is: do not say anything important to me unless I am fully awake! =p =)

Lately, my dreams have been distressing and odd. I had a dream one night that those kidnapper terrorists in Iraq had kidnapped and killed everyone that I loved. Another night I had a dream that my fiance and I broke up because I was busy. I have dreamt about snow shutting down the Triangle, and even about random fairy-tale like stories. I hope that none of the bad ones are omens for the future in any case. Which leads me to my next point....

A couple of the dreams I have had have come true. One night I dreamed that the Panthers would lose in the playoffs. That was the year that they did lose a week later after my dream. I also dreamt that the traffic lights would all be green on the way to church one morning. They were! (Don't ask me why I dreamt about traffic lights back then; I have no idea). There have been others, and I just think that, over all, they are coincidents and just plain weird.

I attribute the latest dreams to the stress that I have been under. From worrying about responses from medical school, to planning a wedding, being busy all the time, and being over-committed, it's no wonder I don't even have time to let my emotions out. I guess the way my brain deals with it is through dreams.

Well, whatever the reason for my dreams (don't analyze them too much), at least I know I dream in color. That in itself is unusual as most people dream in black in white or can't remember. And, I can practice speaking Spanish in my dreams (which I have had several dreams all in Spanish--- I did understand them!). I think I sleep better without dreaming anyways.

5 Years Since High School!

Wow. Can you believe that I got an email a week or so ago letting me know about my 5 year High School Reunion? I feel so old, yet I am so NOT old. I just think its funny, especially since my fiance will have his 10-year reunion next year.

I've been thinking over the last few days what it's going to be like going there and seeing how everyone has changed and such. I can surely say that I am not the same person that I was 5 years ago. I certainly wouldn't want to go back to my high school years, though they were good.

I was talking with Andrea and Renee not so long ago about people, crushes, and memories over our every few months tradition of going to The Cheesecake Factory, and I always enjoy finding out about my former classmates. It's neat to see how people's goals and relationships have changed or developed.

As I pondered upon that very subject concerning myself, I thought I'd write about what I would say to everyone there at the reunion, should I go (which I am planning to at this point).

So let's see..... I graduated college. I actually miss those days up at App. I was putting some pictures into some albums and ran across a lot of pictures from those days. I always hated the stress, especially when it came to organic chemistry. I don't know what it is about that subject, but I just have a hard time. However, I loved being there despite the sharp wind and snow.

I made a new life goal. I always had imagined being a doctor since I was young, but I never set it in stone until I set my major. I think back to high school and I remember imagining myself as a pilot, astronaut, doctor, or missionary somewhere. I never thought I would like or enjoy teaching. Though I have thoroughly enjoyed teaching science and Spanish, it's just not my life's goal.

The next part about becoming a doctor becomes getting into medical school. I have learned to be patient in this process and just keep trying. Even the words, "we are interested in pursuing your candidacy," be it with/without an interview gets me excited (VCU). I tried to get in this past fall, but it was a blessing that I didn't. I wouldn't have been able to put money aside or plan a wedding. Which leads me to my next point....

I've been checking out the people who have joined the Yahoo! Group for our class and it's simply amazing how many people are either in committed relationships or married. Here I am, 5 years later and I am getting married! I wonder what people might think of that!? I kindof knew I would probably be married by my mid-twenties. It was just inevitable for me.

It's funny how people come and go when it comes to friendships and classmates from the past. I hung out with a few people from my class in college as they just happened to be there, or were already my friends. Then, there are the relationships with people that you didn't have in high school (but who went to the same high school) that you make in college. This happened to me. I got to know a Enloeite at App that I had heard of (by namesake) in high school but just never knew. Lo and behold, we became friends and close, and now she is a bridesmaid in my wedding. Ironic? Maybe.

I really need to be better about getting on AIM. A lot of the people I have been able to keep up with over the years has been because of that. Then there are the people who changed their names and didn't tell me. Shame on you! I miss a lot of those people and feel bad that I have been such a bum friend. Perhaps the reunion is just the place to rebuild those relationships.

All of this being said, I do not dread the reunion. I do wish I can impress people with what I've accomplished in life thus far, but 5 years is not a lot of time to accomplish much. Beyond that, I look forwards to seeing everyone and introducing them to my future husband.

Snow reeks Havoc!

So, I thought living in Boone was bad when it snowed. But, truly, there is no comparison to the panic attacks that Raleighites and Durhamites have when little flakes start to fall. Talk about Hades on Earth!

The Meteorologists completely missed it. It was a sneak attack by some moisture hiding out in our upper atmosphere. It was as if the snow was dying to give a surprise "party" to us central North Carolinians.

I would say it started to snow yesterday as I made my trek across campus at about 11:25am. As I walked, the little flakes and the wind began to annoy me. I thought to myself, "I'm not living in the mountains anymore! It shouldn't be snowing here!" I went in to my office shortly thereafter to only look out the window and see more flakes. Okay, so I was completely underestimating the panic that these flakes would send our part of the state into. I trusted my local weather forecasts. Why did they deceive me?

As the afternoon progressed on, an ESL teacher called in to ask me if I could go let his students know that he was going to be late. He was stuck in traffic. I wasn't prepared for what I would see next. I went outside to trek to the otherside of campus and found a mini-winter wonderland. The snow had been sticking to the roads and Lawson hill became Lawson Nightmare. Cars couldn't make it up our 15 degree incline! It reminded me of Stadium Dr. on a cold, snowy winter's day in Boone. This, however, was just the start of the nightmares.

Durham Tech decided to close early at 4pm (church was cancelled, too). I left at about that time to discover a 1/4 inch of snow on my car that was easily brushed off by my scraper brush. Then, I started to pull out of the parking lot. As it so happened to be, a guy in a white car did not look as he pulled out in front of me. No, he did not hit me nor I him, but I had to slam my breaks and slide to a halt. Needless to say, I laid on my horn (hey, I only honked twice yesterday!).

Luckily, they had scraped Lawson hill when it was time for my adventure home. However, as I approached the stop sign, I noticed that the Durham Freeway was a dead stop, literally. So I made a quick decision to turn right and cut over to Alston St., NC 55. Everything going that way was great until we got within 2 miles of the road that would cut me over to my back route. Thanks be to God that He gave me the foresight, at all, to take an alternate route than I-40. I will explain shortly.

It was stop an roll all the way for that long 2 mile stretch. By the time we made it to the turn, 30 minutes had gone by. Little did I know that it would be another hour and 45 minutes to make it just to Cary (granted, my ride is only 20-25 minutes on a normal day). We picked up for a 1/4 mile on Cornwalis until we stopped, crawled, and rolled all the way to Davis Dr. As we crossed over top the Durham Freeway, I noticed it was still stopped (I had seen it stopped 5 miles back). I knew I-40 was bad.

Once I turned onto Davis Dr. (which happens to cut all the way over to Cary if you didn't already know), it picked up for another 1/4 mile, but I could see the break lights 1/4 mile back. This route allowed me to see the chaos that was I-40. It was dead stop, and yet people were still trying to get on it. Why? Why? Do you not have common-sense and a radio blaring the warnings?

Davis Dr. wasn't a bad drive. Tim, my brother, was in the car, and I felt like a hero. We were definitely moving faster than I-40! He even called me "smart" which is pretty unusual for him to say! At least, all the sliding and speeding idiots weren't behind me anymore (as they were earlier).

Over the radio, they kept asking people to only make calls if they had to because the phone system (all aspects) was overloading and some people couldn't even get through to call 911. Yet, as I drove, the opposite side of traffic had a cell phone user at least every three cars!

I was so excited when I started to drive 25mph and then 35mph. We made it to Cary, turned onto High House Rd and, Lo and Behold, no traffic, clear roads, and two open lanes. It only took us 10-15 minutes from that point home.

Our total trip time: 2 and a half hours.

If we had been on I-40, our total trip time would have been 6 hours (as one of my co-workers found out the hard way). Truly, yesterday was the first day that I ever regretted working in Durham.

The problems extended from the fact that this was a freak snow storm. We didn't even get that much snow, but because they let out all the public schools early and everyone had to get off at the same time to pick up their kids, the volume of traffic and the inability for snow plows and salting trucks to get through caused the worst traffic nightmare that I have ever seen these 22 years of living in this area!

Many children never made it home from school, having a slumber party with their teachers at their school (that stinks because they cancelled school today). People were stranded. Grocery stores were raided. Good Samaritans abounded. Parking Lot highways. Accidents Galore. Jack-knifed trucks everywhere. Sliding cars. Spinning tires. Abandoned cars (I saw at least 20-30 cars on the way to work today along I-40). I'd rather drive in the snow in Boone anyday! At least in Boone, most people are prepared!

Durham Tech opened late today. Who knows if we'll open tomorrow with the impending threat for another bout of snow tonight. As I heard so cleverly this morning, the meteorologists decided to take the "conservative" route in predicting this upcoming storm (maybe another this weekend). At least we know it is coming.

My thought is: if it's going to snow, it should be enough for sleding!

Decisions in the EMT World

Decisions in the EMT world are always followed by actions and/or consequences. I have had to make some decisions and come upon the consequences of the decisions of others just in the past two days.

While I was at the Matisse and Picasso show the other day, something happened to me that really has nver happened to me before. Within five feet of me, a man collapsed and hit his head on the floor. He had a history of epilepsy, but we don't really know if it was that or the extreme heat and crowdedness of the exhibit. Either way, I stood there in shock for a minute or so.

Andrea, one of my best friends, turns to me and says, "Tamara, you're an EMT! Do something" (paraphrased of course). I still stood there for a minute wondering what I really could do being that all my gear was up in my car. Finally, I came to my senses and made the decision to get in there and do my stuff. It wasn't much, just a matter of checking his head out and asking him how he felt. I checked his pulse, he removed some layers, and made some recommendations. He needed to cool off, take some tylenol the next day, and talk with his doctor.

My decision to get involved could have been more aggressive, such as, as soon as it happened, I could've got in there, stabilized his head and then turned him over rather than letting the lady just turn him over before getting involved. It is risky in this world of lawsuits and malpractice for me to even to get involved, but, consciously, I could not not get involved as I seemed to be the only person around who knew anything that could be done and make reasonable decisions. The next time something like this happens, I will not be as shocked!

Last night, while on duty, I saw the consequences of some bad decisions made by our patients. Our first call, we came upon a car turned over on its side after flipping at least once. It was pretty shocking to come upon the victim from the accident. What was more surprising was the fact that one of my friends was at the scene. He had seen the accident and pulled over. Caringly, he directed some traffic and then left, but I am sure he didn't think I would be one of the people to show up to the scene.

The man we helped was a 27-year-old who had just gotten out of jail. He obviously smelled of alcohol and tried to swerve out of the way of someone when he flipped his truck. He was bi-polar and very confused. He kept asking if he was dead, was this hell, and to let him die. He didn't want to go back to jail. Then his desire would change completely. He would ask us to save his life and then ask God to spare him so he wouldn't go to hell. It was quite weird. He hurt all over and had a 4cm laceration on his head, so we ended up transporting him across town as a trauma alert.

His decision to drink and drive could have cost his life and others, but thankfully it didn't.

The second call of the night came over the radio as a drowning. The mom of an 8-month-old stepped away for a minute while bathing her baby to get a towel, the baby fell forward, and swallowed water. I thought that this might be my first code (death) on arrival. Thankfully, we have some competent firefighters who got there and revived her. We then transported her across town with Dad where she became less lethargic and regained her reactiveness.

Mom's decision to walk away for a split second could have cost her her child. Never, NEVER, never, not even for a second, leave your baby alone in the bathtub.

The third call of the night carried the worst consequences. We got called out of our district to a 10-50, a multiple car/patient incident. We got there and just looking at the one car, I knew it was bad. The one car looked like an accordion and a fireman stood nearby with a hose in case the car caught fire (it sure smelled like it was going to). You see pictures of horrible accidents on the news, but the reality never really hits until you are there.

Three people had been in the cars. Two people survived.

We took one while the other ambulance took the other. Unfortunantely, we got the guy with the colorful language and uncooperative behavior. To put it simply, I had to restrain him with soft gauze so he wouldn't pull off his neck brace and hurt himself. He didn't seem to understand that we were trying to help him, even save his life. He didn't cuss at me nearly as much as he did one my partners, who was the paramedic on the call. But my partner wasn't going to put up with it. A cop rode along with us.

I learned later that the people in the car had been shooting out windows in a nearby town (a felony), and the police gave chase but then lost them. They found them again in the capital, but lost them again. And finally, they found them in another suburb town, where they gave chase and then wrecked their car by colliding head on with another car.

The man we transported was the driver, who was probably drunk. He will live, as well as the female, but he will be living in jail for sure. Their decision to carry on as they did cost two lives and the freedom of at least one. The driver is only 21-years-old and has probably ruined his life with guilt, a criminal record, and a new home behind bars.

Sometimes I don't understand why people make poor decisions, or why it is in our nature to go into shock rather than to immediately act. I guess the point of all this is to think out the decisions you make in life. Really think them out to the extent of the consequences of those decisions. The man from the first accident had it right; ultimately, asking God for forgiveness is where it needs to go in our bad decisions. But, that doesn't mean you won't face the consequences.

Tragedy, Hope, and Judgement Day

I have a pretty tender heart when it comes to sadness, loss, and pain. Just recently we have lost another church member from cancer amidst all of the other things that have been going on in the world. I always wonder what God is trying to say when bad things happen. I know there is purpose in His will, but I just wish I could see or understand it.

Lately, judgement day has been coming to my mind a lot. Especially the signs from the Bible. I sometimes wonder if all the things going on in this world are just another step closer. But, of course, it is because as time passes we know the day approaches.

My heart hurts for all the pain suffered recently around the world. The tsunamis have especially pierced my heart. I can't imagine losing someone that way and I can't help but be emotional when I watch the pictures of the damage and destruction. I just don't understand why this sortof thing would happen and kill so many people.

Iraq is a constant heart tugger for me. On the CBS news they do a "Fallen Heroes" segment. I almost can't bear to watch it. From newborns that will never know their fathers, sons building cars with their dads, and couples engaged to be married, the stories of the fallen heroes are so sad. At this point in my life, I don't know what I would do if I lost my Dad, brother, or fiance. I worry about the men and women over there, especially the ones I know or the ones with relationships to my friends and family. It's hard not to when everyday I hear about bombings and death. Why do people kill innocence?

California and the west coast has been hit hard by rain recently and just watching pictures of the mudslides and devastation, I am sad. I heard of one mother and 3 kids being killed in the mudslide while the father survived. How can a person go on after that?

I was shocked to watch pictures from Utah today where I river that is normally 10 feet wide is now 200 feet wide and is swallowing up home after home. My mouth flew open as I watched the shocking footage.

So what is all of this leading up to? Even through all this, watching families reunited with their military loved ones, survivor stories, and the way communities have come together gives me hope. I long for the day when we will be united with the Lord, though I wish for Him to use me for as long as He can here on Earth. I know that there is purpose in all of this and, even through my confusion, I can feel hope for that very reason.